Parallelism, Consistency, and Voice
Clear Sentences
Parallel Construction
Parallel construction gives balance and continuity to writing, making sentences clearer and easier to understand.
When writing sentences with lists or series, use parallel construction, which means putting the elements of the list or series in a grammatically equal form. Look at the following examples of parallel construction to get an idea of what this means; the elements in grammatically equal form are in bold.
Example 1
His writing was neat and legible. [Correct]
His writing was neat and I could read it easily. [Incorrect]
Example 2
He told us to pack up all our belongings and to leave the country within twenty-four hours. [Correct]
He told us to that we must pack up all our belongings and to leave the country within twenty-four hours. [Incorrect]
Colons
Parallel construction is also handy when using colons followed by numbered, itemized or bulleted lists. In labs, resumes and other documents, make sure that items following a colon are in parallel construction.
Awkward:
Your report must cover the following topics:
- the reason for the experiment
- what will it demonstrate?
- how the exhibit will be set up
- what materials will be used?
Parallel:
Your report must cover the following topics:
- the reason for the experiment
- the proof of the experiment
- the construction of the demonstration
- the materials for the experiment
Additions, Compare and Contrast
Elements that are being added to or are being compared or contrasted by the use of pairs of conjunctions, like both...and, either...or or not only...but, can be expressed more clearly and emphatically by the use of parallel construction.
We judge our friends not only by their words but also by what they do. [Awkward]
We judge our friends not only by their words but also by their actions. [Correct]
Parallel construction is frequently used in proverbs and epigrams to emphasize an idea or to fix it in the reader's mind. It is also frequently used in speeches for the same reason.
Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves. -- William Hazlitt
Ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. -- John F. Kennedy
Consistency
Inconsistencies in time and person within a sentence cause awkward and unclear writing.
Example 1: Inconsistency in Time
The industrial designer gave a brief description of her new design, and then she demonstrates the product. [Incorrect]
In this sentence, the reader expects ‘demonstrates’ to be ‘demonstrated’ because the first verb of that sentence, ‘gave’, is in the past tense. The verb tense, or time, of the sentence has shifted in a confusing way. There is no logical reason for it.
The industrial designer gave a brief description of her new design, and then she demonstrated the product. [Correct]
Example 2: Inconsistency in Person
When a person fails to dress warmly, you can expect to get a cold. [Incorrect]
In this sentence, the writer starts off referring to ‘a person’ but then shifts to ‘you’. The shift in person creates awkwardness.
When a person fails to dress warmly, that person can expect to get a cold. [Correct]
When a person fails to dress warmly, he or she can expect to get a cold. [Correct]
Both sentences are less awkward when the shifts are eliminated.
Shifting in Time
A shift in verb tense indicates a shift in time. Sometimes more than one verb tense is used in a sentence, paragraph or essay when the meaning calls for such a shift. The shifts in tense may be necessary to explain changes or continuities over time or for other reasons.
Writers should use the present tense
- to describe action in works of literature or other art forms such as film, opera, television shows etc.
- to explain the ideas, arguments, and interpretations of writers, scholars, historians, scientists etc
- to describe general truths
Therefore, the following sentences show a logical shift in time:
We went to see Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, in which the three main characters die. [Correct]
The action of seeing the play was in the past, so the past tense is correct; the actions that occur in the play must be described using the present tense, so this shift in time is correct.
Dunaway argues that mass media influenced mid-20th century ideas about the environment. [Correct]
The author's argument is correctly described in present tense, but the argument is about a historical impact; therefore the shift from present to past tense is logical.
Active and Passive Voice
In a sentence in which a verb has an active voice, the subject of the verb is acting. In a sentence in which a verb has a passive voice, the subject of the verb is being acted upon or is passive. The passive voice makes meaning unnecessarily indirect or unclear. Writing instructors and professors usually advise students to use the active voice.
The active voice is less wordy and indirect, but it also forces clearer and more precise thinking: the writer must name a subject and say what that subject is doing. (What's a subject again?)
Active voice generally follows this form: subject- verb - object
The passive voice, on the other hand, allows the actor or doer in a sentence to remain invisible. The actor or doer does not even have to appear.
Passive voice generally follows this form: object - is/was/were - past-tense verb - subject (not always present)
Active:
Rules and models destroy genius and art.
The school board cancelled the outdoor education program.
Passive:
Genius and art are destroyed by rules and models.
The outdoor education program was cancelled.
Passive Voice and the Missing Subject
An error was made.
People were killed.
These passive sentences don't tell us who made the error or who killed the people. Active sentences would.
Passive Voice and Identified Subject
Even when the actor is present in a passive sentence, he, she or it seems not particularly responsible for the action because they are distanced from it by being positioned after the verb.
An error was made by two Canadian pilots.
People were killed by the bombs.
Active Voice
Notice how changing these passive sentences into active sentences makes them both more direct and less wordy.
Two Canadian pilots made an error.
The bombs killed people.
Reasons for Choosing the Passive Voice
Use the passive voice when the actor is unknown or irrelevant.
It may be that in a time of widening uncertainty and chronic stress, the historian's voice is the most needed. -- Barbara Tuchmann
Although this sentence doesn't tell us who needs the historian's voice, we assume that all people, humanity at large, have this need. Because we are able to make this assumption, the passive voice is useful here.
Use the passive voice when you want to focus on the action or the thing being acted upon, not the doer.
After a thorough evaluation, the outdoor education program was cancelled.