In Memoriam |
TRENT CONTENTS Association President's Message Making Waves: John Jennings and the Canadian Canoe Museum Physics 100: Swinging from the rafters Reunion Weekend Accommodation Directory Wilson's Wit and Wisdom: Alumni Coaches The Formal and Informal Classroom or, What Really Happens at Trent Unique Contribution to Archaeology Earns Spirit of Trent Award |
One of the saddest jobs we face in putting together the magazine is dealing with the 'In Memoriam' tributes. Submissions are always heartfelt and precious both to the writer and to the friends and family who read them. In the case of Nancy Sherouse we found ourselves awash in such a flood of wonderful tributes that we hardly knew what to do. Despite our usual space constraints, the editorial board decided to include them all. Here, therefore, is our tribute to Nancy Sherouse, a woman who touched and enriched the lives of so many at Trent University and beyond. She will be long remembered.
Nancy Sherouse's humanity epitomised the values of Trent University for generations of its students and for staff members in all of its divisions. She came to Trent in 1967 to serve as Assistant to the Principal of Catharine Parr Traill College; in 1969, she became herself the Principal, and remained in that position until 1982. For thirteen years, her generous presence set the standard for college life. She was a pillar of strength to its students, a wise and generous mentor to its Fellows and staff. In 1982, she became the Director of Human Resources for the University and served in that position until her retirement in 1992. Even the responsibilities of senior administration could not blunt the keen edge of Nancy's desire to encounter the human in every situation. When carrying out the responsibilities of the institution, her concern was always to care for the individual. The vast network of friends who mourn her passing is testimony to the integrity with which she fulfilled these ideals. Following her retirement from Trent, Nancy found new scope for her humanitarian concern in her volunteer association with Five Counties Children's Centre, eventually becoming the Chair of its Board. Her work with Five Counties gave her great joy and a continuing sense of purpose and usefulness. She also found time in her retirement for extensive travel. With her sister, Judy, she visited England, Greece, Malta, China, south-east Asia, southern Africa, and was preparing for a trip to Australia and New Zealand at the time of her death.
A memorial service for Nancy Sherouse was held at St. John's Anglican Church, Peterborough, on January 28, 1999. Long time close friends and colleagues James & Lynn Neufeld shared with the large congregation their grief, and comfort, at discovering Nancy had died, upon a visit to her home the previous week. This is a little daunting. Ever since Judy [Nancy's sister] invited me to speak, I've had Nancy's voice ringing in my ears. "Don't tell me they're going to let him speak. We'll never get out of here!" Well, Nancy, you are going to have to hear yourself spoken about, so the next few minutes will be uncomfortable for you, but I promise not to go on for too long. And the rest of us, meanwhile, can heave a little sigh of relief. Because Nancy has kept faith with us. She has carried to her grave more personal secrets than any ten of us could collect in a month of Sundays. And since most of those secrets are about people gathered here today, we are united in the knowledge that our secrets are eternally secure. Not that any of us ever doubted for a minute. Nancy didn't solicit secrets, she inspired confidence, and we we entrusted her with our confidences. And she never turned any of us away. Our secret failings, our little dreams, our frustrations with our parents and our hopes for our children-Nancy listened to them all, and sent us away refreshed, ready to try one more time. Whoever turned to her received the full generosity of her attention, her support and her concern. After Nancy's career of selfless service to students and staff, the move into her beloved home on Hunter Street was part of her therapy for herself. Without ever turning a needy soul away, Nancy used the opportunity of her move from the Principal's Lodge into her own residence to create a little space, a little more of the privacy she needed to keep her life in balance. And she timed the decision to take early retirement so that the memories of the good times in her work life more than balanced those of the bad. Her trials did not leave her bitter. She managed her life changes with an eye to the future. And what a future it turned out to be, despite the serious illness that struck her almost immediately upon retirement. That simply confirmed her desire not to have to deal with hospitals ever again, thank you very much, a desire with which fate complied, though much too early. And it energized her as well, for her new career as a world traveler. Once recovered from her illness, no destination was too far flung, no air travel too exhausting for Nancy, if it offered the opportunity to see more of the beauty and variety of the world. Last Friday, purely by chance and force of circumstance, my wife, Lynn, and I were lucky enough to be the ones who found Nancy in her hour of need. We felt lucky because we knew that any one of you gathered here today would have wanted to perform the small services that were needed, and in that sense we felt keenly that we simply acted for you. We were your hands, your eyes and your ears, and we tried to help as you would have done yourselves. Consequently, we are also your witnesses, and I want to tell you a little of that afternoon. As you know, Nancy was already dead when we came into her home. It did not require the coronerís reassurance to tell us that she had died instantly and painlessly, exactly as she herself had often said she wished to. All the external evidence had already told us that story. We felt great grief, as did all of you, but there was also great comfort, for, other than death itself, we found nothing shocking or disturbing. Nancy had simply been going through the normal routine of her day, when she was interrupted. There was no disarray. Unless, of course, you count the spectacle of Nancy's guest room, the staging area for packing for her upcoming trip. Perhaps only Judy knew before this just what travel with Nancy involved. Enough clothes to launch the fall seasons in Paris and Milan, shoes whose weight would threaten to sink their unsuspecting cruise ship, accessories and little creature comforts I didnít know existed-Nancy clearly traveled on a scale and in a style that would have done credit to Queen Victoria. Finally, we want to tell you about our experience with the emergency services that immediately came into play. A seemingly endless succession of professionals, experienced in dealing with such situations, materialized almost instantly after we dialled 911. But though one might think their professional experience would have rendered them casual or indifferent, they in fact performed their duties quietly, respectfully, with concern for Nancy's dignity and for our feelings. These were not strangers violating Nancy's home; they became friends who could help. Twenty-four hours later, Lynn received a telephone call at home. It was the police constable who had responded to our call the day before. It wasn't business. She just wanted to know if we had been successful in reaching [Nancy's sister] Judy, how Judy had taken the dreadful news, and, most wonderfully of all, how we were doing. It was a simple, spontaneous, extra gesture of concern, the kind Nancy performed without thinking. That phone call, from a friendly stranger, helped. It reminded us that the spirit of compassion we all loved in Nancy has not died with her. And it taught us to open our own hearts, to recognize and to accept the compassionate gifts of her spirit, whenever and however we encouter them in our lives." James and Lynn Neufeld
A Celebration In Living The sudden and untimely death of Nancy Sherouse saddened us all. But as we reþect on Nancy, we should be reminded that her life was one of commitment and giving. Nancy celebrated living, transferring optimism and hope to everyone she touched. Walt Whitman could have been speaking of Nancy, when he wrote:
Nancy possessed a unique combination of qualities. Her seriousness was balanced with humour; her commitment blended with integrity; her caring charged with respect; her wisdom uninfected by judgementalism; her focus unencumbered by conservatism; her professionalism responsive to growth. Nancy celebrated diversity and understood the dynamics of an individual's evolution. She was a mentor, friend and teacher. And in the daily process of living, recipients of her unconditional support absorbed her special qualities, developing personal responsibility. Nancy was accommodating, sometimes in curiously delightful ways. For example, when a canine entered her life and everyone lobbied for the privilege of namesake ("name it after me"), Nancy satisÞed all requests by naming him After Me. And together, they would go on patrol. She knew when to stand back and when to intervene. This was a special skill, particularly in the early 1970s, when many of us not only were experiencing our Þrst thrill of independence, but also eclectically were exploring the permutations and boundaries of our newly found consciousness. Nancy steered this path with amazing adroitness and fairness. Nancy was engaging, and sincerely cared about people and what they thought. Rarely would a conversation long focus on her-she was too interested in others. During her tenure, Nancy dealt with a vast range of personalities, circumstances and challenges, and to her credit, we all proÞted from her assistance. It was a splendid re-union when Nancy would join us for Team Trend Alumni weekends, reminiscing and laughing at reþections of the past. I think she was proud (and maybe slightly surprised) that we successfully were making our way in life. There is that piece of Nancy that we carry with us; those insights, qualities and lessons learned; those little "atoms belonging to me as good belongs to you". So as we reþect on Nancy Sherouse, let us smile and remember how fortunate we were to have her in our lives. She celebrated life and we would be wise to do the same. Bill Fields, '71
A Tribute to Nancy Sherouse Nancy Sherouse, former Principal of Traill College, and Director of Personnel Services/Human Resources, passed away Friday, Jan. 22, 1999, at her home in Peterborough. A memorial service and reception for friends, associates and family was held, January 28, 1999, at Scott House in her honour. By the time I came to Trent in the mid-1970's, Nancy was well establilshed as Principal of Traill College. Her reputation as a hostess, mentor, and conÞdante to Trent students was founded on her love of people, and her affinity for entertaining, served up in the warm and welcoming atmosphere of the College which she loved. In my capacity as an executive member of the Trent Staff Council (TSC), and later as founding Chair of the Trent University Staff Association, I encountered Nancy many times at the "bargaining table" and Joint Committee meetings. Over a period of more than a dozen years, I spoke on behalf of staff as a group, or the University as a whole, on subjects ranging from Job Evaluation and Salary Administration; from Child Care and Human Rights; to the future of the Ontario Education System. It was during this involvement that I came to know Nancy Sherouse. Nancy's office during part of this time was located in the Bata Library. During our frequent encounters, Nancy and I came to respect and support each other in many ways. Sometimes, faced with the apparently opposing needs of our constituencies, we agreed to disagree. You always knew where you stood with Nancy, no matter what the subject. She could be Þrm, and you didn't always have to agree with what she had to say, but she laid it on the line, and that made it so much easier to preserve what was good and worthwhile in an issue, while working towards change where it was necessary. Nancy listened intently when people spoke, and actively promoted co-operation, and positive outcomes for all parties. When it came to a wide range of subjects, there was no doubt that we were Þrmly on the same side. People, whether they were students, staff or faculty, came Þrst. While identifying the practical issues surounding the University's survival and prosperity, people's feelings and needs were always acknowledged by Nancy, never casually disregarded. We shared, too, a strong commitment to the University which had given us both so much in return for our efforts. Nancy was a warm and welcoming individual, and that is what made working with Nancy such a rewarding experience. Nancy had a tremendous sense of humour. It was sometimes the mere tone of her delivery that highlighted the humourous side of some of our otherwise very serious deliberations, I, and so many others, knew we could turn to Nancy for personal and professional advice, and it was always generously and warmly shared. One night several years ago, when Nancy was working late in her office, I decided to take my two young children to see Nancy. They tumbled gleefully on the furniture, while Nancy looked on, in amusement and apparently completely unconcerned for the stacks of important papers (and one buried, unused computer, chuckle) covering the entire surface of the table beside them. Nancy and I became good friends. It was a friendship which grew gently and naturally out of mutual respect and human concern. I remember fondly the warmth of her generous arms around me when we would meet after a while apart. Even after her retirement from Trent, that friendship never slipped away. Many people have been touched by Nancy. Each has his or her own special memories, and a wealth of annectdotes to tell. Nancy was one of those special people who inspired others to try just a little harder to appreciate the needs of those around them. In speaking with Kathleen Bain (Communications), the day I learned of Nancy's death, Kathleen commented on my high praise of Nancy, especially in light of what on the surface appear to be opposing roles and allegiences. I guess, I failed to explain, Kathleen, that I consider myself to have been very fortunate to have heard Nancy's explanation of issues not just from her head, but also from her heart. Let me endorse the sentiments of James Neufeld, her successor at Traill, but more importantly, her friend and colleague, "[her] humanity and concern epitomized the values of Trent University for generations of its students and for staff members in all of its divisions...." Thank you, Nancy, for walking among us, and reminding us all, by your example, to take the time out of our busy lives, to appreciate what is good in each and every one of us. Respectfully submitted, Thelma Paul-Hill (formerly Thelma McIsaac)
The Soul of Traill, the Soul of Trent Receiving the latest issue of TrenT and visiting the Alumni Web site are becoming mixed blessings these days. The In Memoriam pages and news hold too many reminders of the passing of those with whom my memories of Trent are inextricable entwined. Today I learned of the passing of Bob Annett and Majorie Seeley from "TrenT". I met both of them in 1969 when I arrived at Trent, altering the path of my education after a problematic year of Applied Science at Queens. And both in their way contributed to my growth over the next three years. But the sense of loss, bitterweet, settled on me deeply when I read on the website of the passing of Nancy Sherouse. I transferred to Traill from Champlain for my second and third years, living mere steps from Traill and the bus stop. And when problems arose it was Nancy's office I would head for, where her warm and comforting presence would dispense solace and solution, shaped on an armature of common sense, braced by a sympathetic Þrmness and palpable belief that "You can". And as she was with me so I know she was with everyone, Þrm in her belief that "you can". For me, a piece of the soul of Traill, the soul of Trent, has moved on. I will truly miss her, Andy House '69
The Irreplaceable Woman When the phone rang in the afternoon of Jan. 26, a close girlfriend, a fellow Traill-ite, quickly assured me that no one in her family had passed away; we have long had an agreement to share our losses and grief. However, her news of the passing of Nancy Sherouse came as close to fulÞlling our agreement as I ever hope to experience. My friend and I shared stories about our times with Mre. Sherouse, in essence having a wake-by-phone. And I extended that emotion to three more of our Traill alumni friends. There are two Nancy stories I want to share with you that epitomize this irreplaceable woman. When I started at Traill in 1972, it was the Þrst time I'd been away from my family for an extended length of time. Homesickness overwhelmed me and I readily admit I would have quit in less than a month were it not for Mrs. Sherouse. She found out about my troubles, in those secret ways she had, and she offered me a bed in her home for as long as I wanted or needed it, if only I would stay in school. Not only did I stay; I made Traill so much my 'home' that my parents were offended when I hardly went to visit them after that Þrst month. The image I will always remember - Nancy Sherouse serving bar at Intro Week in '74! I chaired the Intro Committee that year and wanted to involve Profs and admin staff in more activities than ever before, so the Þrst-year students would get to know them better/faster. I hesitated about asking Nancy to tend bar. Silly me. She loved the idea and had a blast that night, laughing like I'd never seen her before. I ponder the coincidence of the ending of this era in my life and the approaching millenium, but there is one thing I nowSas surely as Nancy and After Me walk the corridors of my memory, they will be strolling the hallways of Heaven. Marla Hayes '72
A Sheer Delight Like so many in the Trent community, Mayling and I were shattered to learn of Nancy's death. She was a great friend to both of us, the fairy godmother of our courtship which began at Traill College so many years ago. It is so hard to believe that she is no longer here. Nancy and I were College assistants together from 1967 to 1969 and it would be no exaggeration to say that those were two of the most formative and exhilerating years of my life. Working with Nancy was a sheer delight rewarded so often by the most stupendous of meals and endless fun that characterised the donning community at Trent in those early years. Two decades later we returned to Trent and one of the real delights in that experience was the chance to work again with Nancy. I have remained in awe of the respect and affection that Nancy generated among the Trent community with whom she worded. She taught me-in a way that I have never forgotten-the EVERYONE who worked at Trent was equally valued and respected. I know from many personal experiences that Nancy literally changed the lives of many in the Trent community. We are so sorry that she has gone but feel so privileged to have known and worked with her on behalf of her beloved Traill College and her equally beloved Trent University. John and Mayling Stubbs | |
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