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Accession Number: 83-004

Katchewanooka Herald fonds (see Finding Aid)

Newspaper issues of unknown date; plus Illustrations

Note: In this transcription, misspellings and grammatical anomalies which occur in the original text have been maintained. Occasionally, commas and periods have been added for clarification purposes. The word "Katchewanooka" occurs with variant spellings; the variations have been maintained as they appear in the original. Square brackets [ ] indicate indecipherable text.

Note: Pages of illustrations accompanied some of the issues of the Herald; however, in most cases, the dates are now unknown. They have been scanned and are available for viewing at the following links:
Illustration 1 [2 June 1856]
Illustration 2 [2 June 1856]
Illustration 3
Illustration 4
Illustration 5
Illustration 6 [The following text appears on the back of this illustration:]
Last Thursday Leu. Col. Strickland granted Diplomas to two of his pupils, T.H. Allen Esqre & W.P. Band. The former gentleman passed a highly creditable examination and as a proof of in what high esteem he is held, the next day he received the appointment of Steward over the estate of the Rev. P. S. Warren. W.P. Band was not so fortunate we believe, not so much from the want of abilities, but from too great a confidence in himself and therefore not studying sufficiently. Mr. Band is much cut up about it, but idleness always meets its reward; he was nearly loosing an extremely advantageous situation with E. Leigh Esqr who, of course, could not receive him without his diploma; the unfortunate youth is now staying at the hospitable mansion of E. Beatty Esqr, who is attempting to eradicate those pernicious seeds of idleness which have been sown on a too fertile mind.

Illustrations 7, 8, & 9 are textual pages that include illustrations. The text has been transcribed below under the heading "Agriculture."
Illustration 7
Illustration 8
Illustration 9


Kachewahnoonkah Herald Saturday November

[year unknown]

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Kachewahnoonkah Herald

What are your principles? What are the resources which your paper may depend for affording entertainment and useful knowledge to a go ahead and enlightened public? As these are queries which are bandied from mouth to mouth by the many millions of our readers throughout the habitable globe. We once for all declare that we detest and abhor that which is bad! and respect & admire that which is good! We love & adore (if Prince Albert will not be jealous at the expression) our gracious Queen! Our politics are framed on that beautifully poised & broad basis that they must please every party! We deal only with the foibles of mankind and if the amiable weaknesses of the Fairer sex are obliged, sometimes to come under our correcting lash they must remember it is for their own good, and done in love!! As to our resources, we trust, if we live long enough to procure correspondents in every portion of the known world and when the telegraphic wires are laid down and finished from the North Pole, we trust we shall be able to divulge to a discerning Public, thirsting after interesting knowledge, the gossip, scandal and tittle tattle of an Esquimaux [ ]. These are our resources and if our correspondents and kind contributors will still continue to contribute articles of sufficient talent for the purpose we do not hesitate to declare (and we are not vain) that no paper or journal throughout Europe, Asia, Africa and America will ever out rival the excellence and celebrity of the Kachewahnoonkah Herald!!

[reverse side of first sheet begins here]

On Monday night arrived at Ashington House a Bundle containing a Blanket coat, Canadian cloth vest & pants for F. Warren Esq. fresh from the hands of his tailor, Mr. [ ] and everything we are happy to relate fitted admirably, with the exception of the pants, which were rather tight in the hinder seam owing to the inadvertency of the tailors not having taken a large enough measurement. Mr. F. Warren will now be enabled (on his return home) to show the characteristic Dress of a Canadian which cannot fail of being admired.

Our Clearing was this week honoured by a short visit from Lt. Col. Bradford of the Canadian Rifles. It was also the first time that we had ever been honoured with the presence of a Crimean hero. We are afraid our reception of him was rather cold but owing to the suddenness of his arrival, Ditto departure, the Douro Invincibles had no time to turn out although we believe he had some conversation on military affairs with their Colonel.

We have no room this week to give an account of Mr. G. Barlees and W.P. Bands exploit in killing 1 of Mrs. Millers geese, but will do so in our next.

Poetry

A dance I never enjoy
it is always so dull for me
There's nothing my mind to employ
I surely won't go to a spree.

When first into the room you go
You immediately put on your glove
Whilst one person treads on your toe
& another one gives you a shove

Then the Lady Hostess if the first you address
And ask her if in health she is well
but if with a dozen of ears you are bless
Her answer I never could tell

Then the music they begin for to play
a partner I've engaged for a dance
but another has snatched her away
as towards her I begin to advance

Then supper is called at last
and a seat at the table I find
for 6 hours I've been on the past
so for a fill I've made up my mind

But now they've began for to [ ]
& somebody has proposed "Our Host"
if there's one thing before another I hate
t'is being disturbed by drinking a toast.

So at supper I'm always so sold
when I fancy I'll have a nice treat
for if now the truth must be told
I'd nought but a fowl for to eat

So at last I've made up my mind
at Home I'll always remain
& I'm sure you never will find
that to a dance I'm tempted again.

A Stop at home.

[second sheet begins here]

We have this week to [ ] the removal of W.P. Band from E. Leigh's Esq. J.P., where he has been Assistant Preceptor for the last five months, to whom we believe he gave every satisfaction and likewise was beloved and respected by his Pupils, and although nothing as yet has been presented to him to mark their love and esteem, we feel certain that the time is not far distant, when he will receive a proof of it in something substantial. Mr. Band has this time taken up his abode with E. Beatty Esq'r as Private Tutor to his two little sons. We trust that he will succeed in educating them so that they may be a credit to him and an ornament to the Clearing. Of course he will find it different from the management required with his two former Pupils of a riper age. That stern inflexible manner, must be made more gentle and kind if he wishes to gain their affection which he must do before he begins his instructions, from what we personally know of Mr. Band we will say that such is the system we think he will start on, and that Mr. & Mrs. Beatty notwithstanding his little peculiarity will find him everything they would wish for as an instructor for their little sons. Mr. Beatty's will make the third family with which Mr. Band has [lived] in the Clearings. From those he has left he always succeeded in carrying away their best wishes and affections. We trust nothing else, but our authority is the gentleman who assists Mr. Band in removing his affects from house to house, and he states that every time he has done so the load get heavier and heavier. We do not wish to hint that anything nefarious has taken place, but should advise Mr. & Mrs. Beatty to take a look at, or rather, in some of the boxes, carpet bags and hatbox's in case of another removal.

Christmas Beef

The subscriber having good references as to respectability, begs to inform the Nobility and Gentry of the Clearings, that having lately arrived from England, and being thoroughly conversant with his trade, is prepared to undertake the cutting up of the above named article, and feels himself perfectly capable of turning out any joint from the tongue for smoking, and the tail for soup, to the far famed English Baron of Beef in the most artistic style

Frederic Warren, assisted by T.B. Allen.
N.B. Orders left at this office promptly attended to.

[reverse side of second sheet begins here]

It is with feelings of intense grief, both as Editor of this Paper and also as a Member of this little Clearing, of which we have always until this moment felt so proud, that we have to record on its hitherto unsullied pages, that a crime has been committed. But whether assisted by any member or members of this clearing remains to be proved before those righteous men whom our all wise laws have placed in the responsible situation of Magistrates. We allude to Lt. Col. Strickland, J.P., E. Leigh, Esq J.P., R. Casement Esq J.P., assisted by the Constable J. Hamlin, Esq. Of course, at the present stage of affairs it would be wrong in us to mention names, by doing which we might assist the vile perpetrator of the crime and his acomplice or acomplices to escape from those Rightious Justices who we suspect are close on their heels, more than what we can gather from the most authentic sources, we cannot state. Various valuable articles were last night stolen from one of our [ ] merchants. A search was made and we weep and our heart bleeds as we put it in type, most of the articles were found! yes weeping, Readers, were found, on the premises of one whom we have more than once alluded to in this Paper as our "Beloved" Respected" Esteemed" " _ _ _ ". Whom can we trust after this? I know not. We feel that the men in whose hands is placed the power of punishing will not shrink from their duty although the criminal may be no poor uneducated man, but one whom they, as well as ourselves, have always looked up to with love and esteem, justice must take its course. It must not be either stopt or softened by weeping babes, sorrowing wives, no bribe must turn it from its path, and if it is a bailable offense, we hope it will be a pretty high one for no doubt a good round sum would be sacrificed to [ ] the disgrace which never before was attached to the name of a " _ _ _ _ ." We are afraid that when we next go to type it will be our duty, our painful duty, to mention the names of the parties either as Guilty or Not guilty. Most sincerely we hope the latter.


[Kachewahnoonkah Herald]

[Note: the following is a four-page document entitled "Agriculture." A second section beginning part way through the document is entitled "The Pic-nic." Three of the four pages have been scanned in order to provide electronic access to six ink-drawn sketches that are embedded in the text] - [See below]

Agriculture

From the earliest period in which this Clearing was first founded it has always been supposed to be an agricultural one; and it probably was, untill the emigration from England became greater, and gradually young bloods came "swelling" the number of the inhabitants, since which time the ancient love of Farming has decidedly diminished. At all events it is carried on with far greater ostentation; for instance, the first settler here, who at one time perhaps was his own master & servant, now thinks it necesary to start a Livery, which department is well filled by a comfortable looking person, a decided "John Bull." Tis true, the costume is neat, consisting of a white coat beautifully picked out with red, but then there is no necesity for it. If we had time, it would be worth while describing our footman as he is a decided character. He has lately evidently been studying the Pickwick Papers, and endeavours to [ ] on of the Bath Flunkies that so astonished Mr. S. Weller, Jun. Perhaps after a little experience he may be able to succeed, but at present it is a dead failure. Is it not extraordinary that in a place like this, where farming is supposed to be the pursuit of the young men, it is so little pursued; for instance we know of one young person who decidedly prefers smoking in bed to following the Plough, or any other equaly spirited employment. And unlike any other civilized individual he can't content himself with a bed, but must have a hammock. One thing, however, you must remember, he was in her Majesty Service, and therefore feels called upon to "distinguish" or rather I should say, "extinguish" himself. He amuses himself generally by making betts with any one he can pick up that they

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[reverse side of sheet begins here]

can't get into "my hammock." We left our first Settler rather in a hurry just now, but can not let him pass by without some notice. In his not actually farming, himself, we see no harm as he has done so all his life, and now has very able seconds in his sons. He is very anxious to promote the welfare of this place, and very sanguine of success. For instance, he was walking to the Village last week and pointing to a new pig-stye lately erected by one of the settlers, informed us that "the place was going ahead like any-thing." We were excessively glad to hear that he was so unanimously elected the other day. The simple and yet eloquent way in which he addressed the populace won upon their hearts, and we take this opportunity of pressing upon the duly elected representative of our rights in Parliament the necessity of adopting courses which may lead to his taking a seat in the House, in preference to Mr. Short. We feel confident he would further our views on most subjects and promote "the opening out of the back country." but as this is not an Electioneering article, the sooner we finish on this subject the better. Well, to continue, we know another individual who is much fonder of walking to the Falls with a big 2-gall. jar on his back than attending to the farm he has lately rented from E. Beatty Esq. We took no notice of this at first, but the practise has been so often continued, that we inmmediately concluded he was getting dissipated, a fact which on investigation we found incorrect. However, he knows his road to the Falls better than round his farm, unless we are very much mistaken.

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(To be continued)

[second sheet begins here]

Another of our young farmers certainly has started under unfavorable auspices, and though sometimes Cupid may seduce him from his regular routine of tilling the soil, yet on the whole he sticks to his business pretty well. He has adopted a novel, but at the same time, very good, plan of naming all his "beasts." For instance, he will go to the kitchen door and call loudly for "Minnie, Minnie, Minnie" and instead of some fair damsel, of the not uncommon name Mary, we see a yellow and white cat approaching. The next are "Jimmy" and "Georgy," when two enormous sows come grunting toward you. His horses are perhaps not as fiery as might be, but we certainly sympathize with our German friend when the unfeeling remarks of his former preceptor, brought forth the following [pittying] remark - "Vell, I do not care, but if I vos to [ ] de best team in Upper Canada, my old Major vould call dem rutts." The idea of calling the team of Mr. Sherwood Esqr rutts is as preposterous as it is unfeeling and we think he would be perfectly justified in retaliating by suggesting to "my old Major," that if he gave his cattle a little hay occasionally, it would be decidedly more conducive to their health, than "a cedar bark & snow diet" entirely. We fancy that a certain young man who farms with his brother on shares cannot do very much of his share in the daytime as he has often informed us that there is no time when he enjoys a smoke so thoroughly as to get up in the middle of the night and have one. Very enjoyable, no doubt, with the thermometer 32 below zero, and no stove in your room, but we would advise him that nothing is so injurious as to smoke on an empty

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stomach. If he would but leave 2 or 3 [rolls] on the chair with his candle (as we know another certain person to do) and eat them previous to smoking, the injury which he otherwise sustains, could be done away with and, in fact, the smoking operation might be rather conducive to health, and the general accompaniment of it - appetite. There are really so many instances in this Clearing of young men who are professing learning the difficult and scientific process of Canadian farming as carried on in this part of the country, and yet doing literally nothing that I'm sure even the few examples innumerated above will prove to the enlightened reader that it is a mere farce, this system of "Agricultural Coll." as I believe they are styled. But if a Female Ag. Coll. was got up, wherein the the pupils were taught the [ ] of "Domestic Economy," the young men would very soon rise themselves from their present inert life, and -, but as I am talking of improbabilities, or rather impossibilities, the sooner I conclude, the better, and wish my indulgent readers a very good night.

The Pic-nic

A pic-nic took place in town last Friday night at the old home of Col. MacDonald. There were 3 good sized rooms provided for the dances and two fiddlers, who could play about 3 tunes between them, a jig, an attempted galopp, and an autediluvian polka, evidently preserved at the time of the Flood. The attendance was not as great as was expected but very tolerable. The Belle of the Eve, being a Miss Thorbell. According to most peoples ideas, she was dressed with great taste, as all the [ ] ladies generally are. (Query?). Not having had the pleasure of an introduction, we cannot answer for her conversational powers but from the violent flirtation between her & one of the Douro gentlemen, we conclude they must be very great. We missed Mr. T Sherwood for some time in the Eve and on asking him where he had been, he replied, "Oh! only upstairs, feeding the Ladies."

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