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Accession Number: 83-004

Katchewanooka Herald fonds (see Finding Aid)

1856

Note: In this transcription, misspellings and grammatical anomalies which occur in the original text have been maintained. Occasionally, commas and periods have been added for clarification purposes. The word "Katchewanooka" occurs with variant spellings; the variations have been maintained as they appear in the original. Square brackets [ ] indicate indecipherable text.


Katchewanookah Herald

Published every Monday Monday

April 14th 1856

The Herald

April 14th 1856.

After a long interregnum of about 10 months, by the solicitation of several friends, this paper again struggles to appear out of oblivion & cast itself on its kind readers Hoping they will assist by [ ] of numerous articles to keep it in that position which it has by hard [ ] managed to attain. Our Readers must know that this paper is not supported, as the generality of papers are, by either, the purse strings of their subscribers, or the advertizing sheets for the commercial world, but by the literary contributions of our friends & neighbours whom we sincerely trust will help us in continuing to publish it, if not we are sorry to say that it will again fall to the ground never again to raise its head. We will be happy to receive contributions of any description whatever & we only make this restriction that we will publish nothing personal, as this paper is issued for the purpose of maintaining good will & amusement, not of spreading hatred & animosity among our readers. We will not be responsible

[reverse side of first sheet begins here]

for every article that is sent in by our contributors. We will now conclude Hoping the next mail will bring us bundles of articles to aid us in our task of publishing this paper.

The Editor.

The principal news of the last week which we have the pleasure of recording is the birth of a young prince to France. We only hope that the great Joy, occasioned by it, among the French, will be permanent.

For Sale

That fast sailing craft "The Humming Bird" now lying at her moorings at the Royal Kachewahnooka Navigation Company's Wharf where she can be viewed at any time, any person wishing to purchase this fine clipper built vessel by applying at the office of this paper or to the Captain P.J. Strickland will be enabled to hear further particulars.

Terms easy -
The other county papers to copy for 3 months.

Notice

If this meets the eyes of M.R. it will inform him that if he return to his disconsolate F.P. the past shall be forgotten.

Lost

A most valuable Powder Flask. Any person bringing the same to this office will be handsomely rewarded.

A vast quantity of wild geese have been seen this year. We hope ere long to mention the shooting of a few of them under the head of sporting intelligence.

[second sheet begins here]

At a vestry meeting on last Monday week Messieurs Strickland & Casement were appointed church wardens for the ensuing year. We hope under their able management that your pretty little church will be fenced in & a few bushes planted which will greatly enhance its beauty.

Epitaph

On a favorite mare belonging to a lady residing at Wallingham in Norfolk:

The mare Alboni lies here entombed
a better beast was never groomed
Inflamation seized this bonny bay
which closed his mouth from oats & hay
and now she's gone, and her body at aise is
from whip & spur & the shafts of the chaises.

Pioneer

Arrivals -

We are glad to record the safe arrival of our worthy Rectors Brother, per [ship] Asia.

For Sale

A valuable swift canoe & Paddle. For further particulars apply to this office.

Wanted

A person to join with us in the publishing of this paper. The profits are enormous. Apply, if by letter, post paid to the office of the Kachewahnookah Herald.

The Agents for this paper are

The Editor.
[&] Richard Gordon Maxwell Robertson of Straahn
to whom all communications can be addressed.

Grass Seed

Wanted by S. Strickland & E. Leigh Esquires by whom the highest prices will be given.

Rails Rails

The undersigned will let a contract of splitting a thousand Rails.

S. Strickland

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Birth

M. Wilby on Wednesday the 9th - Inst - the Lady of Edward Beatty Esq. of a Daughter.

If there is one thing more than another that keeps our little Clearing ahead of all others in this splendid Country, it is the (I think I may say) yearly importation of really good men and true, from the Mother Country. Again I say, we are most fortunate in this respect over all other Clearings that I ever heard of or saw. These words have been and are in the mouths of every person, And now will be more especially so owing to the arrival of the Rev'd Percy Stoper Warrens own Brother, Frederick Warren, Esq. of Storrington. This arrival is hailed with joy by all, who knowing and esteeming his dear brother as they do, trust they may feel the same for him and are convinced that they will if he only in one half resembles him.

We hear that F. Warren Esq. is a fine elderly looking person with robust form, and rather stern looking face which we suppose he got from being some time at sea.

The Editor. We wish him luck.


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday April 21st 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Kachewahnookah Herald
Monday April 21st 1856

Another week has passed. The winter has at last withdrawn his hoary head for a short time. If nothing now remains of him but a few white locks that still linger oer the field in scattered lumps, but which ere a fortnight more has gone over our heads, will have disappeared from sight. The Birds are beginning to strike up their sweet melodies, the Butterflies to flutter about in the warm sunshine, & even the piping of the Frogs is a pleasing variety from the monotonous stillness of winter. But, whilst everything else is rejoicing at having at last burst from the freezing bonds of winter, no amusements are talked of with which the young men of the clearance can pass their summer evenings. Let them awake from their drowsy stupor & start on foot for a stitch in time [ ] some evening pastimes. We should be happy through the medium of this paper to support anyone who would start early; boating, racing, cricketing & all sorts of gymnasticks so that we may be able to pass the evenings pleasantly & drive dull care away.

The Editor.

Notice

Any person bringing Birds eggs of a rare quality to the office of this paper will receive their Highest value.

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Accidents

We are sorry to have to record the near death by drowning of one of the sporting members of this clearance of which a friend has kindly forwarded to us the details. I am sure every body will sympathize with me when I mention the name of Mr. Henry Pierce. That Gentleman was endeavouring to paddle the canoe of E. Leigh Esq'r whilst sitting on the stern, but in his endeavour to do so, he upset in the middle of the rapids by the [ ] Islands. The extreme state of suspense in which Mr. F. Barlee & another gentleman with him were watching his movements, prevented them from rendering the aforesaid Mr. Pierce any assistance, except that Mr. F. Barlee, between 2 whiffs of his pipe, recommended him to strike out for the nearest logs, but being under the water at the time, our unfortunate Hero, heard him not. We are sorry to say he did not view his accident in a very serious light for the first remark he made, after his submersion, was that he thought he should bathe the next day, as the water was not very cold. We hope this sad catastrophy may be a warning to some of our readers not to endeavour to paddle on the stern of a canoe!! as the loss of anyone by drowning would not only be a serious one to the whole clearing, but we should think be rather unpleasant to himself.

Potatoes. Potatoes.

The Subscriber has on hand for sale several bushels of that far famed Potatoes, the Holy Willies. Their value are inestimable, their size enormous. They would please any Irish man. To be purchased on very moderate terms [ ].

S. Strickland Esq'r

Married

On Thursday the 17th, instant, at the residence of the bride's mother by the Rev. Mr. Rogers of

[second sheet begins here]

Peterborough, Mr. Fitzgerald of Smith to Miss Nelson of the same township. We understand that the Happy Couple intend residing near here.

Sporting Intelligence

The other night, being such a splendid one, the whole clearing seemed to be determined on exterminating the whole tribe of muskrats from our Lake. Canoes innumerable & guns more so, were brought into requisition & last but not least, the life boat of S. Strickland Esq're was rowed up by his three sons, who after various turns of luck succeeded in preventing a wounded muskrat from reaching the ice & by constant and severe applications of the paddle, at length brought it to bay. It would take too long to narrate the various encounters which took place between the celebrated retriever "Fanny" and the fierce rats, suffice it to say she was seriously wounded in the mouth from which the blood was seen to flow & now, it only remains to say, that the sum total of the game killed that night was not so ignominious consisting of 5 muskrats & one Partridge which, by the way, we may mention, as being the hardest to kill that ever came under our notice, it taking no less than 4 shots to bring it to the water when it was Drowned.

For sale or to trade for a female goose, a gander. Apply at our office.

Any person wishing to split about 600 rails can do so by applying to Mr. F. Barlee.

Lost

A pair of light grey trowsers with stripe down the sides. Who ever returns them to the owner, F. Barlee, will be amply rewarded.

A great many persons in the clearing supposing by the misrepresentations of certain malicious people that I have but one coat, "my Sunday coat." I wish it to be publickly known that such is not the case. F.H.D.

For sale a most Excellent year old Heiffer calf which the subscriber offers at the cheapest terms possible.

P.J. Strickland.

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We have received another communication concerning the accident that happened the other day which reflects so much credit on one of the gentlemen. We cannot refrain from puting it in our paper. Editor.

An accident occured the other day to Mr. H. Pierce, (E. Leigh's Esqrs. Junior Pupil) which might have been attended with serious consequences, But for the great promptitude and presence of mind displayed by Mr. F.H. D'Arcy, his friend and brother Pupil. Mr. Pierce's Canoe upset in the middle of a swift rapid, precipitating him into water nearly 5 feet and a 1/2 deep. Mr. D'Arcy as soon as he had recovered the shock which seeing his friend and brother pupil in such danger caused, with that gallantry and devotion, which all who know are convinced he has, although not often shown, put his pipe down, and rushed to his canoe to save his friend and brother pupil, who he was affraid would have his pipe put out for ever, but reached it only in time to see his dear friend and brother pupil land safe on shore, at which sight, his feelings overpowering him he wept hystericaly. As Editor of this Paper we certainly think a Society might be formed to reward such deeds as these, for although Mr. D'Arcy did not exactly take Mr. Pierce from the water, the will was there to do the deed. If Mr. Pierce would but have stopt in long enough, but for such a man as he must be, his own feelings are sufficient reward, we are sure, in his own mind.

We should advise young gentlemen to be more careful for the future as they may not always be so fortunate as to have such a friend & brother pupil as Mr. F.H. D'Arcy near them.

We hear that muskrats, or Rats, we believe is the sporting term, are very plentiful & have afforded excellent sports to those who are fond of it. A sporting Peterboro gentleman staying here, has made a good bag, we believe. From our own Editorial olafactory nerves we should certainly say that he had, for it appeared to us when we had the pleasure of meeting him the other day that he carried about him, we should have supposed at a rough calculation, the essense of 100 Rats. Musk is a delicious scent but we do not like too much of it.

Arrival of the Canada

The Canada had strong head winds which accounts for her long passage. She brings the news of peace being proclaimed, great rejoicings over it in France, not so much in England. The Africa had arrived safe after rather a long passage, consuls up, Troops ordered home from the Crimea, several regiments to be sent out to Canada. It is generaly supposed in influential circles that the Pope will not be married to the Princess Royal.

Would our agent be kind enough to return this paper by the end of the week.

We wish it to be known amongst all our subscribers that we have been compelled, from his grievous inattention, to discharge our Agent "Maxwell Robertson," in fact he would do nothing to advance the interest of this paper. We caution any person from giving him credit on our account as we will not be answerable.

We trust that our correspondents will be kind enough to send in their contributions at the latest by 12 o'clock - on Saturday afternoon. If they do not do so this paper will not be continued, as we find we cannot get through the writing without encroaching on the Sunday.


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday April 28th 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Katchewahnookah Herald

Monday April 28th

By our last mail from England we hear that peace is proclaimed. We most certainly feel that we ought to rejoice at it, but nevertheless there is a little something within (well it must out) a certain Bull dog feeling which says, "he gave the first blow and a pretty hard one it was" and of course at it we go, and the moment he begins to get a little blown, says, (not that he is so or has had enough) but that "it would be better for all parties to stop" & we do so. It reminds us of our boyish days although it is difficult for us to get back so far. We were never anxious to fight or quarrel, far from it; but still if we did get a blow and that a hard one, we felt oblidged to pitch in, not that we expected to get much satisfaction from so doing, But because there is a certain inate feeling in a boy as well as a man that once let another get the upper hand of you, you go down. And moreover we are convinced it applies as well to men & nations as it does to boys, if as a boy we had to fight and were forced into it (for we allow it should (and did us) take a great deal to make boys, men & nations do so). Should not we, if we found him beginning to blow, if wishing to stop, before he was punished enough (after giving us the first blow) give him one of perhaps two more in the wind, & then just ask him civily if he had had enough & considered himself licked? Of course we should & why not? He forced us to fight & gave us the black eye, and are we to stop just when he liked because he thinks that if he stands another round or two he will get a precious good licking? If we did as he wished, that boy after he had forgotten the blow we gave him in the wind, which would be very soon as it is not a telling place to hit except for the times would never be satisfied in his own mind but always on any chance he could get

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have a hankering after another crack at us. You may depend upon it as with Boys so with men and nations, if as the Boy & man you are unwilling to quarrel or fight, Far far more so ought to be the nation; but if you are oblidged to do so as either we would still stick to the principle we held as a boy, if he wanted to stop before he had had enough, or what is the same thing, considered himself licked, give him one or perhaps two more, & then begin to think about stopping. And our opinion as Editor of this paper (whatever our Brother Editors or other Journals may say) is that Russia thinks another round or two would be enough for him, in fact lick him, and it is wiser of him to say "Oh, let us stop now, we are even. If you Blacked my Eye in the Black Sea I did the same to you at [ ]. War is a shocking thing (why did he strike first) so if you like we will make peace." And so we do, just as one or perhaps two more blows in the wind, which we could have given easily having gained experience, science & strength in the previous round, would have polished him off so beautifuly. His dearest friends would not have known him.

Feeling & thinking as we do we cannot rejoice at this peace, for we most decidedly do not think it will be a permanent one although we most heartily wish it may.

Sporting intelligence

The last quarter of the moon has brought a change in the sporting world, for the sharp & constant reverberations of double barrels Dooming the unhappy muskrats to death has given way to the more scientific art of spearing; & whereas in the earlier part of the month the scent of musk was very apparent, at present the sensitive organs of the nose or, in other words, our 'olfactory nerves" as perfume with the smell of maskinonge, both, in its natural, & cooked state, which however we think is far preferable to the odour which those little animals the rats seem to glory in carrying about them - we are sorry there are no more upsets to mention this week, merely the slipping between two cedar posts of Eleigh Esquire into the river near the church; his opinion, however, did not seem to coincide (as to the temperature of the water) with that of his pupil, Wm. H. Pearce's, as he avowed that it was very cold.

Money wanted

One two or three dollars for which liberal interest & good security will be given on personal property which as it is assessed, surely must be valuable.

[second sheet begins here]

A Sharp trick

We are sorry that such a mean act as the cutting away of the logs belonging to W. Sneider Esquire in the upper Lake should have happened so near our clearing. All we can say on the subject is that it must have been a very "Sharp" man who could have performed such a trick.

To the Editor of the Kachewahnookah Herald

Sir, a paragraph came out in your last paper under my signature concerning "My Sunday Coat." Now, Sir, you must be aware that such an extent of poverty as only to allow of a man's having one coat, is of too delicate a nature to admit of public circulation. Therefor, I beg you will be kind enough to insert this in your weekly Herald to give the Gentleman or rather men I should say, who sent you in the notice under my signature, to understand that I cannot tolerate such things.

T.A.[S.]

From our own correspondent
Marriage

On the 25th of March at Southwold Church the venerable Rector assisted by the Rev. Mr. Burns; Caroline, eldest daughter of Captain Ellis, R.[ ]., to Robert Alexander, eldest son of Major Strickland, Reydon Cottage, and nephew of the world known authoress of the Queen of England, the charming Bride was given away by Sir Edward Gooch, Bart. After the interesting ceremony a large party sat down to an Elegant dejuner provided by the Bride's Father after which the happy couple started in a carriage & [ ] for [ ] via Norwich. The Bride's trousseau was we believe most elegant.

We hear from authority we cannot doubt that an article in one of our papers has been considered so beautifully worded and cleverly written that a certain person not a thousand miles from Lakefield intends sending it home to one of the leading journals of the day. So we may soon expect to see an alteration in this style for the better. Editor We feel proud.

We are extremely sorry to say that we shall lose one of the ornaments of the clearing, and one of the most witty contributors to this paper for nearly a fortnight. We allude to F.H. D'Arcy Esq'r who is going on a sporting expidition with Mr. Patrick Young to Mr. Jack's Lake. We wish them both [ ], and a quick return. Editor.

If this meets the eye of M.B. it will inform him he need not return to seek after the now happy F.P. as the past is all forgotten. "Farewell."

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The best receipt to be found in the life of any man

Early in the morning obtain some fresh air. Mix with good exercise; let this settle until after breakfast, when pour in as much wholesome work and knowledge as possible, until dinner time; let this simmer quietly until it becomes perfectly solid; repeat the same until the hour of tea, then throw in some recreation, savoured as much as possible with usefulness; add large quantities of kindness, forbearance, temperance & contentedness, then serve it out with unaffected modesty, for fifty or sixty years, as the case may be; and it will be sure to prove not only palatable to oneself but to everyone around.

Dear Sir. Seeing in your paper of last week a request to the young men of the clearing to start some pastime on an evening, I must say I quite coincide with you and think the sooner some game is started the better for them. For would it not be better to see them employed in some healthful and exciting game than ideling away their best days in smoking and flirting? They say "we cannot see any fun in boat racing because there is one canoe that can beat the rest; the summer is too hot for gymnastics, there is no ground for cricket. But to all of these I say Start & Try. I myself as a Sussex man recommend Cricket, as I consider it the most inspiriting & exciting game that can be played. We hear of all the towns round about starting cricket grounds. Why should this clearing which bears the honoured name of "Little England" be the last to keep up the old English game. I am sure that if once started it would soon find supporters, and a ground might be made with a little trouble. The only fault of the game is that a man is apt to loose his temper as one seldom can play with out being 'put out.' Though I am getting on to be an old man there is nothing I like better than seeing a good game of Cricket. I remember seeing in my young days, some of the great matches played on the Brunswick ground & Oh, how I longed to rival some of those players. During the long winter a man's hand is apt to get out, but he can easily keep his hand in by playing at "Cricket on the Hearth."

I remain dear Sir, your obd't servant,

[Wisden]
Little England
April 25th / 56

From our Foreign Correspondent
Rome March 15th

There have been lately some most extraordinary rumours in Circulation relating to his Holiness the Pope that I cannot help mentioning to you. The facts of the matter are then, not many weeks back the Holy Father summoned to his Palace the most celebrated Artiste in Baby linen that his City produced (By the way a remarkably pretty French woman she is) and commanded her forthwith to prepare him an Infants trousseau of the most costly materials & consisting of everything that would possibly be required by a Babe of High degree. This order from the inconsiderate gossip of the young work woman soon got wind and the most improbable as well as - must I own it - scandalous stories were spread over the city, some said his Holiness was going to grant himself a dispensation and marry the Princess Royal of England and so thought it best to be prepared for any emergency!!! In fact the different surmises would fill a volume when lo and behold as in the fable, the mountain brought forth a mouse, it appears the Baby linen was only for his Godson the Prince Imperial of France whom he imagined was rather short of clothes.

Dont lose your opportunity!!!
For sale
Stumps! Stumps!! Stumps!!!

An unlimited number of these durable Articles can be obtained at any time by applying to Pickaxe, Stone Buildings on the ground floor. The above articles are warranted sound and strong and to last for forty years at least. The Purchaser to have the option of removing as many of the above Articles as he pleases! -

Mess'rs Chunk and Handspike

Challenge

H - P - will match his famous rat killing bitch "Fan" against any other dog in this part of Canada, for any sum not exceeding 10¢. H - P - may be heard at any time at J. Sherins Store, Lakefield.

Departures

Francis Arthur Strickland, D.P.S.C.E. to return to his official duties in Port Hope.


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday May 5th 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Kachewahnookah Herald
Monday May 5th

We trust our readers will forgive us for troubling them, with a few lines relative to the style in which this paper should be carried on for the future. We will give our own opinion, if we are wrong or any of our readers can in any way improve on it, we shall only be most happy to bow to their suggestions. The almost, we may say, unexampled manner in which this Paper has been contributed to for the last three weeks with not only a light and cheerful class of articles, but also of a deeper and more profound kind proving that there is talent in this little Clearing which no persons had any idea of before we started this Paper. Not that it is getting such a very wide circulation. As Editor of it we feel bound to draw a certain line over which we trust none of our Contributors will step; and we are determined that as long as we have the honor of being Editor of this Paper such shall not be the case, or else we shall resign our very onerous post. These remarks made by us have been caused by certain Articles and Advertisements in our last paper. We must now more particularly mention to which we allude.

Firstly - In each of our former Papers there has always appeared some remarks or rather kicks at a dog (we should say female dog) bearing the very pretty name of "Fan". It was well enough at first. But we will not have our Paper made the medium for private pique and envy. If the writer of those Articles is jealous of "Miss Fan" or "Mr. Fan" as the case may be, Let him find some other way of throwing out his dirty spleen. Our Paper shall not be the bearer of it for him. If it was, we should most likely offend the Owner of "Miss, or Mr. Fan" And most truly might he be so, for the Articles in question appear to us as if they were intended to insult the worthy "Master" through the female dog. Secondly, we are also determined that nothing shall be put in this Paper that could possibly raise the slightest tinge of crimson to the cheek of the most delicate and fastidious of our numerous Lady readers, Nothing that would cause the eye of the chastest and purest of the softer sex to droop, Nothing that a Mother or Father could not read to their Children, or a lover to her whom he considers superior to all. The line that we have now drawn was most decidedly overstepped last week by our Foreign Correspondent. It may be said by a certain class of people, "Oh it was only a foreigner." We can take that as no excuse, And now most humbly apologize to our Subscribers for its appearance but the paper was in type before we had time to stop the Article. We trust our negligence will be forgiven. It shall not happen again. We do not envy the feelings of our Foreign Correspondent, be he Male or Female (We trust, for the credit of the sex, not the latter). For attempting to blast this Paper in the eyes of its subscribers we feel convinced it will fail, and trust it will end with this one attempt. Of course, we know not the name of this Foreign Correspondent, owing to the manner in which we receive our Contributions. If we did we would most certainly put it in print that people in the clearings might know who this hidden serpent is, that attempts to contaminate us with its vile poison. We have been drawn by our indignation to trouble our readers with more words than we first intended.

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But from what we have said we think our contributors will understand what we have endeavoured to explain. We will not have the Paper a medium for private pique and malice, direct or indirect, or for scandalous reports not even when a joke is made of them, which we consider, if it is possible, only makes them worse.

Editor

We hear that the Rev'd Mr. Clementi & Sons contemplate a visit to the Lakes sometime next week, and as they require a thoroughly experienced guide: me, who is a perfect shot. Of great muscular powers! Thoroughly versed in all the intricacies of the woods. One whom stalwart arm can cause a canoe to "walk the waters like a thing of life"! And above all, humble minded with regard to matters relating to himself!!! These being the qualities required, need I say that the choice has fallen, on that old and experienced man, our friend and neighbour, Richard, Maxwell, Gordon, Robertson!!!

Dear Sir. I think that so much good has been done by your Paper, that I cannot help mentioning an occurrence which took place under my eyes. It was such a pleasant sight to see two old brother pupils (Formerly under the father of the clearing, commonly called the "Governor"). Working together in one feild, one harrowing & the other sowing, whilst a boy was ploughing in the hollow, it looked so very expressive of a kindly feeling through out the clearing, one helping the other. This harmonious effect I am sure must have been produced by this new but splendid Paper the "Herald."

A Subscriber

Sporting this week has been rather dull, most undoubtedly, not only owing to the absence of our never failing sportsman, F.H. D'Arcy Esq'r. But also of that most unflinching sportsman, his Worthy Preceptor "Edward Leigh Esq'r, Proprietor of the "Dog Kennel." The only manner in which the latter gentleman signalized himself prior to his departure this week was in the spearing department, at which he showed his unerring skill, by bringing home to his famishing Pupil a fish, which having given to his worthy housekeeper for their [ ] next morning, what was his horror and the Pupils dismay on being informed by her after his great trouble in procuring a breakfast, that it was nothing but a Sucker.

Lost

A most valuable powder flask, the Property of Mr. Henery Pearse, it had many dents on the bottom and one on the top, whoever shall return the said flask, to the office of the "Herald" shall be amply rewarded.

Being Owner of some geese, I wish it to be known amongst the sporting gentry of the clearing, that if any are shot in mistake for wild geese or ducks, I shall charge the highest damages I can. The mistake was made last year I believe by an amateur sportsman, so I think it best to put in this notice. F. Barlee.

An Epitaph

When Archdeacon Thorpe (whose Christian name was Thomas) was Tutor of Trinity College, Cambridge, some undergraduates being assembled in a friends room on evening, they agreed to try who would make the shortest epitaph, the one that gained the prize was the following:

"This corpse"
"Is Tommy Thorpse"

We have received a letter addressed to us as the Editor of this Paper, which we give to our readers in its original simplicity.

- Dear Sir -

It [ ] such serious consequences from that small word Barley; That I must say a few words. Readers, I consider it a most impolitic thing as regards this paper, as it is likely to cause great animosity & illwill (in the words of the paper) to put in false notices. I Absolutely refute all knowledge of a notice that was put in the paper of last week about me, & I caution all people believing such foolish things in future, yours truly H. Pearse.

During the past week this clearing has been highly honored by a visit from "J. Tate" Esq'r of Peterboro Notoriety. We were surprised that the Corporation did not turn out with the Father of the clearings at their head, and present him with an address, surely there must have been some mistake or other, to have caused such gross negligence.

We will trouble the readers of the Herald if the spelling of the word "Kachewahnookah" does not meet their approbation to send in their suggestions of any alterations to us the "Editor" and not take it upon themselves to alter it without our permission, as was done in last weeks Paper.

"Editor"

Lost three numbers of the "Herald" of last years, who ever will be so kind as to return them to this Office, will extremely oblige, The Editor.

[second sheet begins here]

We hope soon to have the pleasure of welcoming Mr. Robert Strickland & his bride amongst the happy members of this clearing. We understand through various sources that the good example of his elder brother will not be thrown away on G. Strickland Esquire, the owner of one of the most valuable farms in this township, who has already 3 fine fallows, with 2 of them in crop with fall wheat, besides an excellent barn to hold his grain & we have heard him with our own ears say that he contemplates the erection of a house on his domains. What can be more evident proof of his being about to offer both his heart & hand to some fair member of the female sex? For what is a house without a head to it. What is a home without a careful wife to take charge of it & to minister to your wants & comforts. Besides, after the hard fatigues of the day are over & the Farmer homeward plods his weary way, he is met at the door of his shanty by the pleasing smiles of his blooming wife which seem to shower happiness around wherever she goes & which instantaneously refreshes the wearied mind of her loving husband & dispells his careworn thoughts from him. What can be placed in the stead of this light of one's hearth. What can replace this star of one's home round which everything revolves. Feeling certain that his sentiments are very near akin to these, we think that the time is not very far distant when we shall have the pleasure of welcoming another lady to this clearing in the person of Mrs. Strickland.

Dear Sir

In your last paper you published a letter received from a person with the signature of "Wisden"!! in which there are so many singular remarks that we cannot let them pass by with impunity. In the first place we think that he might be a little more cortuous to the young men of the clearing than to say that "they [wile] away their best days in smoking & flirting. If this old cricketer was to take a ramble (that is if his legs are strong enough) from one end of the clearing to the other & see the fields that are under cultivation, the crops that are sown & the Fallows that have been chopped we feel perfectly confident that his opinion would take a great change before he arrived at the end of his Journey. Let us warn him another time "to look before he leaps" & not Judge of all the members of the clearing by one or two who may have got that Highland disease of lazyness. As to the flirting part of the business there is one thing perfectly certain, that there are no ladies to flirt with even if there was time to do so, so that his accusations on these two heads are perfectly unfounded. Secondly, we should think this clearing far from being honored by the pamby-pamby name of "Little England" which seems to denote a place overrun with little boys who call themselves men when they are hardly out of the nursery. Why not let us still retain that time honored name of "Upper Douro" & not be seeking after new ones. But who is this Sussex cricketer that has come amongst us & where does he reside? How truthful are those lines of the poet Gray.-

Full many a gem of purest ray serene
the dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen
& waste its sweetness on the desert air

How little did you think when writing the leading article for the second number of the Herald that a "Wisden" would rise up amongst us & honor this paper with a contribution. All that we have to say in conclusion is that we did not think it possible for him to write such outrageous puns. We remain "Stumps".

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Correspondence

Mr. Editor

It appears to me very extraordinary that none of your numerous subscribers have as yet alluded to the increasing importations of young men from the mother country. Last summer, those that came out have found themselves every way worthy of the Friendship that was at once ceded to them on their arrival, and we have not the slightest doubt they, together with the older pupils, will still continue on terms of the greatest cordiality one with the other. We are now on the eve of having 3 more, two Messieurs Sherwood to sail on the 10th May with the newly married pair, also Mr. Cain if he is Able with Mr. George Barlie. We only hope that they may form an addition to our circle. We hope that Mr. Cain, unlike his ancestor of the same name, may not give way to any fit of temper, as there are many Ables of a tender age in the clearing on whom he might wreak his anger, although not without impunity as there are no doubt several, who are thoroughly Able for him. Now, as all the articles the pupils of last year brought out with them have changed and rechanged hands, it is a fitting subject of congratulation, that these three aforesaid young men, will no doubt come amply supplied with stunning outfits, of wearing apparel of every description - to say nothing of minor knick-knacks. It will therefore afford an ample opportunity for the old residents to replenish their wardrobes, a few of which from some paragraphs in the late Herald appear to be rather scant. We much fear for the new arrivals, for from what we know of some of the older pupils there is little chance of their retaining barely sufficient for the wants of the seas. But why should it not be so? We all in our turn have passed through this [ ] ordeal, some of course with better luck than others. The spirit of trading has at length got to such a pitch that we much fear the father of the clearing stands a poor chance with his pupils in that line for they can trade him all to fits. From what we have heard the Ladies of the clearing are also somewhat addicted to the aforesaid propensity & maybe Mrs. Robert Strickland on her arrival may afford them ample amusement in the changing pastimes as no doubt her wardrobe will not only be plentiful but choice. Hoping Mr. Editor that through the medium of your excellent paper, trading may receive new zest from these remarks. I remain
one who always expects

- Boot. -

Birth

At Willy barn on Saturday 3d inst Mrs. Pert. Cow, of Edward Beathy Esq'r - of a daughter.


Kachewahnooka Herald

Monday May 12th 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Holding such an extremely responsible situation as we do!!! Editor of the Kachewahnookah Herald!!!, It has always been our endeavour to instil into the minds of all in the Clearings, a straitforward, manly, and proper way of passing through this life. As Editor of a Paper we feel it is our duty so to do; and if sometimes our readers find us a little severe and that the "Cap fits;" Do not abuse the poor Editor he is not at fault, it may fit him as well as yourself. An Editor is but a human being after all. Nevertheless the Cap we are now going to throw up will not come down on his head being not fit at all, yet we are affraid, and we must say grieved, deeply grieved, to think that it could find too many heads on which it could most comfortably rest in its downward fall in this very pretty little clearings!!! Up goes the Cap!!!

On Saturday the 10 of May we take our usual walk before breakfast between 5 & 6, A most lovely morning, the glorious sun just high enough to give a golden tinge to the freshly buded trees, and makeing the newly fallen dew sparkel like thousands upon thousands of diamonds, each blade of Grass and even each leaf seeming to rejoice in its inspiriting rays. But we are surprised, astonished, we may say disgusted, at not meeting one cheerful healthy face to wish us a hearty good morning.

We feel as if we could not really enjoy the beautiful scene around without some one to share it with us (such is human nature). We are convinced that they only want to be awoke from thier slumbers to do so, and we will now try so to do, that another morning we may not be alone in our glory.

We take, as we pass along, a glance at the "Father" of the Clearings pretty Cottage. We see no smoke gracefuly curling from his stove pipe giving [symptoms] that its inmates are stirring. We cast our eyes to the right hopeing that there surely we shall see some signs of life let it be ever so little, "But No," Signs of life enough, but only that of dogs howling for their breakfasts. We again try our lefts, surely such a busy man as himself and Missus must be up to something this beautiful morning, No, again we are disapointed. We have to rise our eyes a little to another Cottage, our last hope to see if its inmates have not risen to rejoice with us in this glorious morning, No!!! and we weep as we pen these words, no smoke gracefully curling from even this stove pipe, Him who without one exception sets such an example in all other things, that, but to copy him is to be right. Nothing do we see but close drawn curtains as if he felt ashamed as he ought to be, lest that glorious sun should get one glimpse at him as he lies destroying by his apathy, not only his own health, but that of his lovely wife, and we wish we could say rising family. Doors and windows close shut to keep out that most invigorating - refreshing and healthy morning air, so it surprising that we weep as we return to our breakfast seeing what we did who could have done otherwise.

The Cap has fallen.

Mr. Editor

It gave me much pleasure to read in your last excellent number of the "Herald" the remarks you there made on the base and scurrilous attacks that have appeared from time to time with regard to our excellent friend and neighbour H. Pearse Esq'r and his innocent lady dog; Now if these remarks had referred simply to the Master I should not perhaps have troubled you with any of mine, knowing that his all powerful pen would have quickly nipped, I may say, crushed at once in the bud, the vile insinuations, without any aid of mine, but as there appears to me to be a certain hidden lurking biting sarcasm which pervades the strain of these remarks which seems to say "kick me kick my dog" I cannot help offering a few words on the subject. To attack a poor mild meek spirited, defenceless creature who would not say "Bo to a goose" even a tame dead one shot by the gun of her Master / a poor tender hearted thing, who would not with all the persuasive language that could be used screw up sufficient pluck to seize upon and bring to shore a wounded duck!

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One, who even if her inclination at all tended that way her embonpoint would decidedly prevent her entering on that cruel and heart blowing sport [ ], Deer hunting!!! - Such being the spotless character of this canine lady, does he who would endeavour to [ ] her fair fame by base insinuations (I care not whether she be Mrs. or whether she be Miss) Does he deserve the name of man? nay, Does he deserve the name of Christian?!!!

Phylocanis -

Paper! Paper!! Paper!!!

Wanted by the Editor of the Herald. "Paper," Ladies and gentlemen the immense quantity of paper that we use has quite exhausted our stock and we trust that you will all have compassion on us, and kindly come forward and relieve our wants. We have not so much as Note paper enough left to write to our anxious friends at home for as you may easily imagine those very able articles with which our paper is filled are not penned without a great deal of writing and therefore wasting of paper, to form them into that style which not only amuses you all and helps to pass away a dull hour but what we think of more consequence, also instructs and may perhaps be the means of bringing back a lost sheep to the fold. Not that we mean anything personal to anyone in these Clearings. Oh No! We got such a Pierceing letter last week for our personalty [sic], which quite doubled us up we may say; but being then only young Editors we did not know to what danger we were laying ourselves open to, giving to any sharp fellow who chose to take up the pen such a splendid chance of a thrust at us, And we did get a Piercer by jingo, As all our subscribers saw. And we take this opportunity to thank all those kind friends who sent to inquire after our health, being fearful we suppose of its affecting our minds, but we are all right at present, although we are much affraid that we positively could not stand another Pierce. 'But the Paper!!! Ladies and gentlemen, we have none, if you will all kindly forward to our office either Note paper or letter paper. Each person according to his means, you will greatly oblige

Your humble Ser'vt
The "Editor"

Awful Catastrophe!! Love! Murder!! and the fearful end of the perpetrator of the horrid deed -

It may have been observed by many in this Clearing that a certain young man for months, nay, we believe we may say, for years, has most perseveringly insisted by sparking a certain Lady. Now this certain Lady we have been given to understand has always repulsed advances of her follower, and has even been known to resort to the rather unfeminine action of [ ], in order to stop his further unwished for advances but all to no avail; Now the Lady, who it appears had been privately married (Unknown we trust to this persevering sparker), was last week confined of a lovely and sprightly daughter (as announced in the Herald of last week) on whom as an only child, the affectionate mother naturally doted; Now this (and it is with feelings of horror and contempt we declare it) so inflamed with jealousy the heart of this demon sparker, that from the moment the innocent babe was born, he seem'd determined on its distruction, and on Monday morning (dreadful to relate) he put his vile purpose into execution, "But murder will out" as fortunately was the case in this instance, for it happened that a very particular friend of the Lady, having chanced to call in to see after her health, and that of the infant, he was horror struck at beholding the latter lying a stiffen'd corpse upon the ground, and the [wretched] creature (can we call him man) endeavouring to pluck from the lifeless body its dark and filmy eyes. Immediately on entrance of the friend of the Lady, like most murderers and cowards the sparker showed the white feather; Now the friend of the family fortunately brought with him a heavy stick & his indignation & wrath were roused to the highest pitch, he rushed at the villain and with one fell swoop severed his head from his trunk, and thus ended one of the most fearful tragedies it has ever been our painful duty to record. Young men of the Clearings, Beware. Beware!!!.

Ne'er go out on sprees or larking
Nor the wrong Gal, don't be sparking

Certain coming too late for insertion will be published next week -

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Last Monday this clearing was aroused from its peaceful solitude by the aproach of a buggy driving with fearful rapidity up the turn-piked road opposite Mr. Strickland's new house. We instantaneously rose up from our work, fearing until otherwise convinced, lest the noise arose from a runaway team. - We really would have thought that the driver even if he had no compassion for the owner would have had some for the horses themselves. He should have remembered that these poor dumb animals were completely under his mercy & had not the gift of speach (like Balaams ass) to reprove him for his cruelty. The Buggy we believe contained Mr. C. Vizard & Mr. Hale a young "green Horn" from the mother country, & the Rev'd Mr. Clementi & sons, the latter of whom intended to proceed together with their Guide, Mr. Robertson, on the following morning up the lakes, & their [ ] parent, unless his mind is altered since, to follow them today, Monday. - Where he will find them we think is rather doubtful both on account of the Breaking away of Messer Young's mill dam (that has caused so much damage to personal property on this river) as well as the great gales that have subsisted since their departure on last Tuesday morning. Most probably after several hours hard seeking he may find them close prisoners on some island besieged by the rolling billows of Stony Lake. We hope that they are well provided with all the sustances of life, for in the event of their finding no game, there is great fear that the two Mr. Clementis being much stronger might be tempted to fall on their unfortunate guide [ ], as he is such a tempting looking morsel. Our only desire is that nothing of this sort may occur as, we should be extremely sorry to lose the services of our guide, & traveler; as well as on account of the great stain it would cast on the devouring qualities of our young surveyor. In conclusion we'll say that we hope they will return home safe & sound with their canoes laden with every game of the season & if they paddle them as fast as they drove their horses we think it will not take them long to arrive at their destination. -

Curiosities. -

On Wedensday last whilst two boys were busily displacing some stone heaps they discovered the skeleton of a ophisaurus or garter snake. On the following day thursday when engaged at the same work & whilst removing a heap that was a few yards from the one where the skeleton was found they also discovered the skin. - From this we may infer that the snake whilst feeling the pangs of death come over her or him, immediately disencumbered itself of its skin & then proceeded in this dishabille to the nearest stone heap & there became a lifeless corpse. It prove a theory often asserted but never before positively known. The skin & bones through the request of several members of this clearing are displayed to the publick gaze for three days at Reydon Cottage And

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advise our readers to take advantage of this kind permission & visit this remarkable phenomena in natural History. -

Correspondence

Mr. Editor. -

As your valuable paper seems to be the medium of making known the grievances of all classes of people, I trust you will excuse a poor woman for telling her sad tale of woe, but remember it is not only of my own case I write, but that of nearly every Canadian wife in the country. You Mr. Editor must be aware (being, I believe, a married man yourself) that we unfortunate wives, slave, slave, slave, & work, work, work, from morning till night, day after day, week after week, month after month, & year after year, & what do we get for our pains? Why nothing forsooth because you say it is our duty. - Well I grant it is, but at the same time I do say that every man having the good fortune to call himself by that time honored name of Husband ought to make a point of giving his wife some kind of Holiday and enjoyment once a year, yes, once a year is all we ask, but even that is denied a poor Canadian wife. You men say this is a free country. You would be shocked if anyone told you that you had slaves in Canada, but pray what else is your wife, nothing more nor less than a Household Slave; & yet dont imagine that the Husbands in this clearing are bad specimens of the article in question, far from it, as I should say they are very good ones for Canada, but it is the system I complain of, and you had better all beware, for if something is not quickly done, to give us a weeks holiday at the least, I can assure you there are serious thoughts of all the wives striking for it, & if once we do that, it is all up with you.

I remain Mr. Editor -
A victim.

Mr. Editor. -

I dare say, your most esteemed paper of this week, not withstanding the various paragraphs it contains, may have a spare corner, for a few general remarks. I hasten to avail myself of the unwearied kindness you have invariably shown your correspondents, by saying a few words on the improvement & general state of the clearing. In the first place, within the last few years a remarkable change has come over this part of Upper Douro. Not more than four years since stumps raised their blackened & unsightly heads, in every direction, now by the energy of the present settlers, they are becoming scarcer & more scarce, either by fire or by the tedious but more efficacious method of uprooting them in which latter system we have had an unrelaxing example set us by the Rev. P.S. Warren who to the constant & never flinching duties of the clerical profession, adds a very fair knowledge of agriculture united to the refined taste of an English gentlemen & would therefore rather spend a little more time in extracting bodily the obnoxious articles in question, so as to be able to lay out his grounds in as level a manner as possible, than set them on fire which would of course only annihilate the body, whereas the roots of the stumps would remain firm in the ground preventing of course the ploughs progress for some distance on either side; [ ] to stumps, rampikes as they are called in Canada, form by no means a pleasing addition to the general feature of the country. Thanks to the perseverance of the various gentlemen on whose grounds they happen to be, they have felt the sharp edge of the axe, & their heads laid low, & only allowed respite from a fiery ordeal until such times, as the summer heats, will allow them to burn freely. Again we used formerly to see nothing but log houses, which though comfortable enough inside, are anything but picturesque on the out. Now, however, the neighbours are vying with each other as to who will build the most comfortable dwelling places - Frame houses well plastered inside & out are in the majority, but the father of the clearing is certainly building what a connoisseur would immediately set down as a most substantial commodious edifice, which we have no doubt when finished will also be a very handsome one, & an ornament to the clearing. The taste also that the gentlemen display in planting trees & orchards about their houses is most praiseworthy. It is, we are sorry to say in Canada, a very general failing, a perfect indifference to the presence of foliage about a house, now in our poor opinion, an establishment without foliage reminds us of a face without a nose. There's something wanted, decidedly. What can be pleasanter in summer than sitting under a horse chestnut with a favorite black pipe, a [ ] [ ], & half a dozen fellows together talking of deer hunting & encourage [ ] [ ] the planting of trees through the medium of your excellent paper in every available spot. - To be continued


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday May 19th 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Kachewahnookah Herald.
Monday May 19th 1856.

What great satisfaction it is to see so many Farmers & amateur agriculturists in this clearing competing with each other both in their crops & in bringing their farms into the Highest state of cultivation. The pleasure they feel, after the weeks hand toil, to stroll over their feilds together with their friends & neighbours & examine the fruits of their handy work, must well repay them for their pains. But although they are enjoying their pleasures, although they themselves know how to farm, we would ask them - why not let others do so too! Why do not they who have had so much experience enable others to gain it also? We are perfectly surprised that in a clearing where there are so many agricultural colleges, none of the preceptors should have, though it worth their while to send us a few articles on that subject. We should then always have kept a column apart for them. - Or at any rate they might have favoured the publick during the long dreary evenings of last winter with a series of lectures on the subjects of sowing, ploughing, dragging, etc. etc. & so have implanted the seeds of knowledge on the fertile minds of their anxious & all aspiring pupils that they may hearafter follow in the footsteps of their worthy preceptors & become the very patterns of farmers. We fully hope that ere another week has gone by some of these preceptors will take it upon themselves & send us in some contributions. - Editor. -

Mr. Editor. All the readers of your Paper must without doubt have seen in it, a week or two back, a letter from a Person signing himself, "One who expects boot." Now I fear that this Gentleman has never got the Boot, which for his letter alone, he so richly deserved; his expectations have not been realized, But never mind, better late than never, and if he only goes on as he has began, he will stumble across it some day or other. But about the letter, my idea is that, if allowed to pass without notice, it would be imagined that all in the clearing agreed with the writer in his astounding assertion, or to use an old Proverb, say, "them's my sentiments." Now, they are not so by any means and I believe are only the sentiments of a very small particle, of this extensive Clearings. If they where so, of what a rapacious, grasping, avaricious, greedy, class of human beings must it be composed. "One who expects boot." What a horribly selfish expression if taken in the sense of which he intends. But how appropriate if he received the boot he expects - as I would give it him - he should not be disapointed in not getting Boot enough. The practice of trading which the letter advocates so strongly is I think bad when carried to the fearful extent that it is by some in this clearing, it is a species of gambling. The sharper will generally gain all and leave the miserable Dupe with barely sufficient as the writer most facetiously observes, (for the wants of the season). - he might as well have said, "for what decency requires!" Can that be right I ask which leads to such fearful consequences as these, are not our moral, obligations and feelings outraged by such scenes as these, is it not a disgrace to the young men of the clearings, either as the sharper or the Dupe, - I could relate many true but sad stories of the latter - how he went on trading trading trading until he became so infatuated, that even all his conversation ran upon it, he could see nothing on the person of anyone without saying? How [ ] you trade! until at last left nearly as badly off as when born - of the former also (the Sharper) how he would as it where fascinate the poor Dupe, like that gigantic snake the "Boa Constrictor" which fixes his eye on a poor little Rabbit and so draws him into his trunk, so would he fix his eye on some garment and as easy might you try to keep that garment from his trunk as the poor little rabbit from that of the gigantic "Boa Constrictors." They also have their different dodges for different people, some they will bully into a trade, others flatter, again they will come the [ ] dodge as if they were confering a favour on you which I believe is a very telling dodge, with young hands, against all of which I warn the young men of the Clearings -

I remain Mr. Editor
"One who is in want of neither boots or shoes"

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Mr. Editor

As similarity of sorrow produces sympathy in feeling, it will be no marvel mine should be warmly stirred up for your correspondent signing herself "A Victim." Now that we are a persecuted class of individuals no one can deny - we are so placed as to be no longer our own mistresses. We are under a cruel bondage, but what are we to do? having foolishly put on the yoke, we cannot fling it off, the Law that helps all others does little for us. Indeed it gives permission to our masters to use a stick the size of their little finger, which by the [ ] is a very indefinite restriction for that member is of various dimensions, and woe to many a poor wife, for in some it is far from delicate and it is wielded with a powerful arm and will. I would give as a caution to all maidens to examine the magnitude of that member before subjecting themselves to its inflictions for the future. Now Mr. Editor as we fortunately are not arrived at that dreadful extremity, do you not think it will be well for us to go on perseveringly putting our shoulder to the wheel lest a worse evil befall us - and if they have the common feelings of humanity they must be awakened to our sad condition and help us of their own free will, that will have a better affect than any overt act on our part to lessen our troubles, besides we shall have the sympathy of the kind and tender hearted, and the applause of the good. We are of that unhappy class whom none dare assist, for if any one ventures to interfere, he is met by the remark, by those monsters in mens apparel! surely I have a right to do what I like with my own. So you see what it is to be what is called Married alias Enslaved. Even that Noble and delightful race the knights [E--] (if such be not all dead, out of the land) who rush to the rescue of forlorn Damsels pass us by as of no account. Seeing we are in so bad a plight, let us go on stich, stich, work, work, and reflect whilst we plod on our weary way, that few situations in life are so bad, that they could not be worse. If we labour we must confess they are not idle to be sure they have the comfort of a whiff or a storm every now and then to compose the nerves and quiet down the reflection that man is made to toil to keep him out of mischief* - This satisfaction is denied us poor creatures for what would our Lords say if we had [recourse] to such a soporific, to calm our troubles & soften our cares. Alas, we must bear them as well as we can and draw solace from the self satisfied assurance that we are very useful parts of household furniture, such as they would be loath to be without, nay, more, cannot do well without, so, to say the least, we are necessary evils (if evils they call us). What can form a more domestic scene than a Tea Kettle, a Cat, and a Wife, the singing of the 1st, the monotonous purring of the 2nd, and the sweet smiles and joyous greeting of the 3d must form such a trio of delightful harmony, as might well frighten (rather lure) all the sniggle men into double blessedness. But dear Mr. Editor after all our grumbling, I am bound to confess that we show to the world a very fair sample of such Articles called Husbands and if youths growing up in this Clearing follow in their steps (and I think there seems a good promise of their doing so) I am sure many a gentle maiden would do well to enter the list with them and fight (as we have done before) the battle of life, - [ ] the harmonious trios, of Kettle Cat & Wife.

"A fellow sufferer".

I would just add I shall be happy to give my mite towards enabling you to continue your valuable paper, through whose pages many a wounded heart will find relief - and many a Prodigal be reclaimed.

* which he was first lead into by a woman

My dear Mr. Editor. May I trouble you with a very few words. - In the course of a conversation the other day with some friends a gentleman present said he intended sending you some paper, as you stated in last weeks that you wanted some to enable you to continue your most ably conducted journal when a Lady present in the most brusque manner possible immediately said, "Send him paper; what for? He only wants it for his own use." Now Mr. Editor if such is the case, you see it will be quite impossible for me to forward you the ream it was my intention to have done. If it is not the case, perhaps you will let me know in your next, and it shall be forth coming, and I will not again attend to any more such unfounded reports.

I remain yours,
"Fair Play"

Our Readers will be gratified to hear of the safe return of F.H. D'Arcy Esq'r, so that again is restored to the clearings one of its brightest ornaments, with fresh laurels added to his brow, and well may he be proud of them after undergoing most incredible hardships in gathering them. We well know what interest all our Readers feel in the gallant young man, so we will give a rough outline of his adventures, as heard from his lips by our own correspondent, trusting that at no late date he himself will publish in this paper a full account of them. Mr. D'Arcy, as we all know, left here 3 weeks ago to join Mr. Patrick Young. He arrived at Mr. Young's quite safe, stopt at his hospitable mansion one night. The next morning after packing everything in as small a compass as possible, they started. Mr. Young with his Eldest son, a nice lad of 13, in a Bark canoe, Mr. D'Arcy in a beautiful log canoe of his own. They left the shore amidst the Cheers of Mr. & Mrs. Mathew [Young] and Mrs. Patrick Young and the Young family, Maggie not forgeting to give one more cheer for Mr. D'Arcy. That night they arrived safe at the head of Stony Lake where they intended stopping some time for the trapping. They had very fair luck and after being there 4 or 5 days, thought well to proceed to Jack's Lake. But first taking a survey of their provisions, they found they

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had not more than enough left for two days, at which they were all extremely surprised as they had brought enough for three weeks. But as Mr. D'Arcy naively remarked, "the Lakes give me such an awful appetite." In this dreadful emergency Mr. Young proposed that himself & son should return for a fresh stock, leaving Mr. D'Arcy in charge of the Camp, to which he agreed at once providing they would leave him all that was left of the grub, which they did, saying they would be back on the 2d day. Mr. D'Arcy, trusting to their word, on the 1st day ate half the grub, on the 2d day the remaining half. Towards evening, Mr. Young not having returned, he began to get uneasy about the next days dinner. Nevertheless, he turned in for the night hoping to see him in the morning, but no sign of him all the 3d day, could hardly get any rest the next night from hunger and anxiety about his dreadful situation. The 4th day came, watched most anxiously for him till the afternoon and then not seeing him, shot two Robins, left them in the Camp, and started in his canoe to look for Mr. Young, determined if he did not find him, to return and devour the Bobbys for supper. But providentialy, after going about 3 miles, he met him with his canoe loaded with provisions, of which Mr. D'Arcy partook most heartily, although between each mouthful he could not help using some strong language to Mr. Young for so nearly starving him. Mr. Young soon appeased all his anger by bringing out a brown jar and saying, "Mr. D'Arcy, have a horn? which our gallant friend did with a vengeance. After this little contretemps they started for Jack's Lake at which they arrived quite safe after numerous adventures. They stayed there sometime hunting & trapping with great success. They caught a good many beaver, and Mr. D'Arcy also said they footed four, which we suppose is a sporting term - after catching them and finding them no good means, giving them a kick and sending them about their business. But we must bring this to a conclusion and leave it to his far more graphic and amusing pen to give you an account of his various adventures. Suffice it to say he is safe at home. He did not bring back many trophies with him having disposed of them before he got here, numerous fur merchants, we have no doubt, being on the watch for his return. By Mr. D'Arcy's appearance, especially when he first returned, we should say, he had gone through not only more hardships but some hambles, for his features were not only much tanned and emaciated but his clothes more particularly so. What does that matter when we find the same Frank good fellow inside them.

Notice

Parties going up the lakes on pleasure or hunting excursions can hear of a guide by applying at the office of this Paper.

References given to V.M. Clementi D.P.S. & C.E.
---- T. Clementi. [ ]

Correspondence. Monday May 14

Mr. Editor. -

We have heard so much about the sport of last week that I think it would be most unkind & unjust to the Heroes of it, not to mention it in this paper. - I understand that the stout & persevering guide, mentioned in one of your former numbers, with his two friends have come back covered with honour, having surpassed all former adventurers, by their daring ; in short the game seemed to glory in being shot by such sportsmen, so much have they killed, I did think the gentlemen of the clearing would have been invited to partake of the ducks & pidgeons which otherwise must not as they lay; I have no doubt you can understand the courageous manner in which these gentlemen stemmed the torrent as it rushed by, dashing in the dam with its violence; the best part of all, you will I am sure agree with me, is the manner in which they whipped a drunken lumberman who attempted to turn them from their camp, keeping their ground by [ ] of hard fighting & forcing him to depart with ignominy; I moreover heard that blushing to hear their own praises, two of them departed for Peterborough before the report of their successes could spread abroad. I consider this Brilliant career has not been equalled in the annals of the Clearing.

I remain dear sir, ever your - etc etc. -
One who carries a gun. -

Conundrum

Take a pronoun adjective & t'is clear to see
that by this alteration my first t'will be
on a hot summers day it is certainly true
that my second is used by mankind not a few
my whole are young men who dress very spruce
but to tell you the truth are of very little use.

Departures

E. Beatty Esquire of [Willy] House for a short tour up Stony Lake.

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Mr. Editor

Your paper being the medium through which the flourishing state of the Clearings in its various branches is made known to the world, an account of a walk we took the other day through the different gardens may not unacceptable to you or without benefit to your readers. The first one we examined was that of Rev'd [Peacy], [Sloper] Warrens, our Worthy Incumbent, whose head gardener we immediately concluded must be a man, who took up more sea room than his Master, from his predilection to large paths which we at first mistook for turnpike roads, and wondered were they could lead to. The state of the crops appeared very flourishing with the exception of the green peas which, being unfortunately under the ground at the time, we could form no opinion of their quality. A very cursory glance at the domain of Edward Beatty Esq. satisfied us that his last years garden, has been turned into a wheat feild, and as to this years, after looking round for some time without finding it, we came to the conclusion that it must be under the manure heap, and therefore we are unable to give you an accurate account of the progress of the crops. Continuing our walk, the next garden we came upon was Edward Leigh's Esq'r which appeared to us beautifuly laid out but was destitute of the one thing most needful!! the appearance of the young plants! whose tardiness in coming up can easily be accounted for by the height of the beds, fearing no doubt that when they arrived at the top the distance from the ground might endanger their lives. A short walk from thence took us to the homestead of the "Father of the Clearings" whose head gardener we immediately observed standing spade in hand, regarding his handy work with evident satisfaction, but before we could approach near enough to participate in his happy feelings we were warned off by a gruff voice which threatened to serve us as "Romulus" did "Remus," if we did not keep on the paths. These said paths, by the way, were laid out with such exquisite exactness, that they gave us the idea of having been run with a Theodilite; the beds were under such a high pulverization so nearly resembling snuff that they affected our olafectory nerves so strongly we were immediately seized with a severe fit of sneezing, but we must say that in this garden we were very much pleased to see a thing which proves the advance of civilization. We allude to the hot bed in which the aforesaid head gardener took especial pains to point out to us the difference between a melon and mustard & cress, appearing to take as much interest and care of them as if they were his own offspring. - Although a little out of our way, we could not resist visiting the farm of our enterprising friend F. Barlee Esq'r, and we assure you, Mr. Editor, our expectations were more than realized, for although there was no labyrinth of paths to confuse us in our survey of these most extensive premises, from the stump on which we stood, as far as our eye could reach, we don't hesitate to say we saw, [at] the lowest calculation, half a dozen radishes discernable above ground. If these observations be the means of bringing about a friendly competition between our neighbours, it will fully repay.

"The Horticulturist"

Mr. Editor. -

In continuation of my last paragraph on the improvement & general state of the clearing, I must endeavour to take up as little room as possible in your valuable paper. The falls, or more properly, Lakefield, altho' Selby would have been a far prettier name, the former being sensless, is going ahead wonderfully. Several new houses although not of first rate description, have gone up, yet poor as they may be, they always give an air of civilization & increase to the village, & church, mill, bridge, shoe maker's store & Blacksmiths shop alone would cause it to have that appellation, without the various tenements of numerous honest plodding artisans. The lots also are increasing in price which of itself is a good sign. A post office too is of very great use to the community instead of some unfortunate individual having to dash to town & act the post Boy every time the English mail comes in, the settlers being principally [ ] happy to state from that land of beef & beer. The post master also is a most kind & obliging altho a little Bilious personage & always willing to do anything that will oblige his neighbours which is a comfort. It is certainly pleasant in the extreme to live in a clearing where everybody is willing to assist to the utmost of their power him who requires their services. For instance, bees, we hesitate not a moment in saying, are most necessary, in a newly settled country where wages are at so high a figure, a man putting up a Barn or a house for which purpose many hands are unavoidably needful, could in no way do without the assistance of his neighbours, who in turn when they have a heavy work to be done call upon him as a matter of course, to return the assistance afforded him. This species of exchanging labour brings people closer together by, at once showing that without neighbours, a man might as well be in a great desert. The general state of the clearing has most wonderfully improved since the advent of our esteemed Incumbent. Formerly Sunday was not much considered. Indeed, people residing in the nearest town declare that it never passed Sayers Creek, which [as] your readers well know, is some two miles from this. - Now service in our own little church appears to have a very beneficial tendency on the improvement of some of the community. The attendance is invariably good & the utmost decorum is kept. No more shooting or fishing on that day as was generaly the custom, not of course with the pupils, but with other residents of this part of the country. The well dressed people & the unvaried attention they pay to the service would almost cause one to imagine oneself in an English church at home. Fearing, Mr. Editor, that you will be cramped for room, I shall finish my say another time.

I am etc etc a Resident. -

[third sheet begins here]

Military Intelligence

At length the government have resolved to reward the exertions of one of their most gallant servants - Major Strickland we hear is to get the Colonelcy of that truly gallant and serviceable regiment, the Douro invincibles, of which regiment he has for so many years been the Major. We also hear that Mr. F. Barlee is to have a [ ] in the Douro invincibles. When we see regiments commanded by such men as these we may say, we have the right men in the right place.

Enigma

I am seen on the Lakes & the rivers broad span
Many dangers to stem, I am able;
When my head it is off, I am part of a man
When it is on, I am part of a stable.

Take off my head, and you will see
I act the part of an active [ ];
Without me it is very dear
You ne'er can have right genuine beer;
I'm given to the young and gay,
To help them pass dull care away.
Now when I'm given back my head,
T'is strange to say, I must be dead;
And then it is that I require,
To have a place, close by the fire;
And [ ] from some draw forth a frown
If by a female, I'm "done brown."

Having been invited by the heads of No 1, No 2 & No 3 Colleges to attend a public demonstration to be held at John Sherin's Store, Lakefield, on Saturday evening, being the anniversary of the birth of our Gracious Queen, and never being backward in our loyalty, we joined the procession which flowed from the gate of her worthy & loyal Servant, Major Strickland D.I.J.P. in its onward course towards the village, the air singing with the peels of laughter of both young and old, produced by the various witticisms of our jovial friends W.P. Band & E. Leigh Esq'r. On our arrival the gallant Major, foremost as he always is in the ranks of both danger & mirth immediately ordered a gallon of beer and gave glasses being filled, the toast of the day, (or rather evening) The Queen, which was responded to by the finishing the gallon. A loyal blacksmith there present completely overcome by his feelings, valiantly stepped forth, and offered (as we may say, the risk of his life) to discharge some powder placed in an anvil if such an article could be obtained, his [acun] being, "hors de combât." "The Major" again in the front ranks, magnanimously offered to lend his if a volunteer could be found to fetch it down in a weelbarrow, but we cannot discribe the shock our feelings sustained by seeing none such step forward from the ranks of the numerous young men present. Mr. Beatty as a further inducement, and hastening to second the Major in his most loyal Project, at once offered half a pound of powder and gave orders for it to be immediately produced when Mr. Sherin stepped forward and in a most obliging manner informed him, that he was just out of that article but expected some up in a day or two. This of course put a stop to any thoughts of a salute from the anvil, and with the exception of John Hamlin, Constable & Clerk, and Bailiff to Major S--, who wishing to emulate his Master in his loyalty, fired three shots from his single barrel gun. The Major being disappointed in his favorite project & finding that nothing could be started - as the night was gaining apace, returned home & after a few more friendly glasses was followed by his friends & pupils, who having sang, the national anthem, Old Uncle Ned, & a few verses of Yankee Doodle before the Hall door of the gallant Major separated peaceably to their own homes.

Correspondence

Dear Mr. Editor

In one of last years numbers of your paper you published among other things a letter from a correspondent asking "what is the derivation of ram-pike." Now might I be allowed to make these few remarks in answer to him. In referring to my Latin dictionary, I found the word "ramus a dead branch or pole" &
"piceus" made of pitch or Black as pitch" also picinus of the colour of pitch. In my French Dictionary I discovered "[rameau] a broken branch" & "[pic]" jointed or perpendicular & the French being the first settlers in Canada I am induced from this to think that it must have been derived from them as the adjective in their language generaly comes after the sub

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stantive in their language. Hoping these few remarks may assist young correspondent in his researches, I remain ever your obedient servant

Book Worm

Dear Sir:

Saturday afternoon.

Some person in your last paper was remarking, I believe, on the general improvement the clearing had undergone during the last few years; now sir, I consider that a very short account of the proceedings of last Friday night may exemplify more fully than anything else the aproach of luxurious tastes in to a clearing where I believe formerly nothing of the sort existed. Mr. Sherin had given notice to a few of his most intimate & frequent friends (Mr. Pierce for instance) that on a certain day, last Friday, he expected a 30 gallon cask of Beer up from Peterborough. Well, owing to these certain intimate friends of Mr. J. Sherins unbridled tongues, this report got abroad & what was the consequence? Mr. Editor, you are an Englishman & you can appreciate a "glass of good beer" as well as any man, & you must acknowledge that a cask of 30 gallons of Beer was too much even for the moderate young men of this clearing, & so no less than eight of them after having drank as much tea as was good for them, must needs resort en masse to the 30 gallon cask and before they left, it made [ ] [ ] 8. But let not any of the graver members of the clearing who may happen to cast an eye on this letter think that 2 gallons amongst 8 of us did any harm. On the contrary, we had the benefit of the company of Mr. C. Stewart Esquire from Toronto and everybody must be aware that the pleasure of hearing him talk again overbalanced the pleasure of drinking beer. Suffice it to say that the only drawback to the enjoyment of the beer was the absence of S. Strickland esquire whose presence always casts an air of plesantness on all who may be within the circle of his "sunshine."

Notice to Correspondents

We must appologise to our correspondents for not having before informed them, that we cannot return unpublished articles owing to the difficulty in finding out their composers. The advice on gardening was lost by our boy just before going to press, but as he is threatened with a good licking if it is not found, we trust it will be in next weeks paper. "[Araminta]," the verses our fair correspondent sent us are not the style for this paper. "Nonentity," we had had so many articles on the same subject that we could not put it in print, but we think that if "Nonentity" would apply his or her talents to a higher sphere of literature, he or she would succeed in a way which would be gratifying for us to publish and our readers to peruse. F.D.A. The article was an insult to us and would have been also to our readers if we had published it.

We must thank "Fair play" for giving us an insight into the feelings of our fair friend and her idea of our dishonesty. Paper for our own use we have the money where with all to buy, but we do not think that we are called upon to use our private stock for the good of the public. So Mr. "Fair Play" you may at once send us your ream if you think the word of a gentleman and Editor sufficient. No one has responded to our call with the exception of the lady signing herself "A fellow sufferer" whom we thank in the name of the "Herald" for her kind present.

Arrivals.

Mr. C. Stuart [Stewart], Toronto C.W.O.A.D.P.L.S.
Mr. H.S. Strickland, Peterborough

Departures.

R.G.M. Robertson, of Straahn - to assist Peterborough in the celebration of the Queen's Birthday.-


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday May 26th 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Kachewahnookah Herald
Monday May 26th

It is with feelings of great pleasure that we witness throughout this land such extreme attachement to the mother country & more especialy do we notice it on the yearly occurrence of the Queens birthday & not only in towns but in this little clearing in the backwoods of Canada where so many of its inhabitants boast of having derived their origin from that little spot in the midst of the Atlantic whose fame is spread far and wide, are these feelings manifested and although there are no public processions, no firing of guns, no hoisting of flags, nor any display of fireworks owing to their being so greatly pressed for time to put in there crops, before it was too late, yet we feel perfectly certain that every noble heart, in this clearing wether male or female rejoiced that our gracious Queen has been preserved to reign over us another year and hope that she may live for many many years yet. What a happy land is this that a Queen should govern us, so loved and reverenced by her subjects that they would hasten to the ranks to save her crown, and die in defence of her rights. And how has this been brought about? How is it that whilst other colonies have rebelled and thrown off all subjection to the Nations that first formed them, Canada has remained firm and faithful to the mother country and repelled all rebellion against her? because that England has truly acted the part of a Mother country allowing us as soon as she found we were able, to assist in our own government, and never refusing us her assistance when required or over loading us with taxation. This is the way to secure our esteem, and gain our love, and this once done, she need not fear for our Loyalty. If ever the time should come when England and Canada shall be two different Nations let us still keep up that friendship that now exists and run our course hand in hand with each other, and she will find that we shall be as ready then as we are now, to come forward to her aid when ever she requires us.

"God save the Queen"

The arrival of C. Stewart Esq'r has caused for the last two or three days quite a sensation in the Clearings, for not merely for his own private good and sterling qualities does he receive a hearty welcome, but such men as him in their public capacity are the mainstay of the advancement of our country. Although unaccompanied this time by his little companion "Squib" who not only ran after his Masters, but his own tail also, which caused much disapointment to the juvenile branches of the community, we feel assured his welcome was none the less cordial from the older branches. We understand that he is in a few days about to enter on his official duties in Port Hope and trust that he may have that success which his abilities so richly deserve and amass that fortune which is the reward of all honest labour.

"Editor"

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Mr. Editor

As it appears by the Papers when Peace was proclaimed, that the English who where prisoners in Russia immediately gave splendid balls to their Russian friends so I suppose, as a sort of return, the Czar sent out orders that any English prisoner who should chance to die, should be buried with great funeral pomp! Such having been the case, the following query? has naturally suggested itself. Why were the English Prisoners and the Russians, copartners in a Brewery? Because, the English gave the hops and their various biers (beers) were supplied by Russia's Bruin (brewing)!!

My dear Mr. Editor. In taking upon yourself the very responsible office of Editor of a Paper you made yourself to a certain extent public property, so that I think no apology is necessary from me for troubling you with a few words. Sir, I am Father of a son, "Augustus" by name. I wish to start him in life. I cannot afford much to do so, although in comfortable circumstances myself, still having a large family of younger children. Of course I must not rob those that will also as they arrive at a riper age have to fight there way in this busy world of ours. I have given Augustus the choice of, (as all Fathers do) three professions, although he knows about as much of any of them as a sucking pig does of a rhinoceros. The three were, a Cadet ship, the Sea or Canada. He has decided on Canada. Now knowing no one myself in Canada, I thought that I would not enquire of a person more likely to be able to give me some information on the subject than you Sir, the Editor of that well known Paper, the "Kachewahnooka Herald" -

I am convinced Sir if you will kindly use your interest, I shall gain for Augustus a comfortable home. Of course, before I can expect you to do so, you must know something of the character disposition & [ ] of the boy, which I will now endeavour to give you as to his physical powers (Although I should first have said he is just 14). They are very strongly developed, active in the extreme when he chooses to exert himself. In fact, he would be of great assistance to a person requiring manual labour. His mental qualities are also good, above the common average I may say, if he would but apply them; nevertheless I am sorry to say I have found him fonder of going out with his gun in his hand and a dog at his heels than reading with me in my study, which from what I have heard of Canada would be rather a good trait in his character than otherwise, but of course Mr. Editor, leave it to you to put me right in these points if I am wrong. To wind up, he is a most Frank generous open hearted good natured youth, and has been brought up, I need hardly tell you, in the fear of everything bad, and would be a perfect treasure in any family. Still, I suppose I can hardly expect to get him a home without paying a premium for a year or two.

Now Mr. Editor, if you know anyone requiring such a treasure as Augustus would you write to me by your Paper, stating their terms and all other particulars, for I should not wish Augustus to go into any family without being assured of his being treated properly.

I remain, Sir, yours truly,
F.R.F.
Homebush, Emsford, Suffolk

P.S. August has just bought a gross of pipes having heard that smoking is indispensable in Canada and is just now extremely ill having been trying some of them. You might mention in your letter wether it is nesessary for him to smoke.


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday June 2nd 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Kachewahnookah Herald
Monday, May [June] 2nd

We have not, by reason of various delays, expressed our sentiments on the two letters sent us by our fair correspondents, in which they sowed their disapprobation so strongly concerning the female government throughout this country. We hasten to do so now & to stop in its onward course those feelings which would be so apt to arise in & contaminate the minds of those females who as yet have not been seized with the mania of self government. As we are no admirers of Bloomerism, to which these letters so evidently ended & which are so apt to cause dissention among the heads of families, we think that they cannot be too soon nipped in the buds. We will first make a few remarks on "the victim" & an exceedingly philanthropic "victim" she must be for not only does she take up the cudgels in behalf of herself but of all the Canadian wives. In fact, we would suppose she was a person very fond of intermeddling with other peoples business, and from the whole tenor of her letter which from beginning to end is a most woe begone tale, if we had the honor of knowing the husband of this lady we should certainly recommend him to put in force the Law which gives permission etc etc (as the fellow sufferer observes) & our humble Editorial opinion is that it would have a most beneficial effect. We also consider from the conclusion of the letter that it would have been by far more apropos to have signed it, 'a vixen' instead of "a victim." "The fellow sufferer" with this amiable "victim" alias "vixen" appears to us to use a vulgar expression half afraid of "going the whole hog" in the same course which the first fair writer so boldly laid out. - Caused no doubt from fear of the effects of that law concerning which she writes so feelingly "experientia docet" and as she appears to have some doubt whether her monster in man's apparel has the common feelings of humanity we are forced to the conclusion that his finger is far from delicate and his arm & will, most powerful. - Nevertheless we cannot help being amused by the letters, each wife so plainly showing that she imagines her husband the best in the clearings. - But we must now draw this to an end only adding that our sorrow would be of the most poignant nature if we saw these ladies take upon themselves the rough & coarser duties of man instead of retaining that delicacy and modest reserve which is the greatest ornament & charm of the female sex.

Editor. -

We hope our readers will excuse the daub there is on the 4th page of this number but unfortunately our boy overturned a bottle of printing ink over it.

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The anxiously looked for arrival of Mr. & Mrs. Robert Alexander Strickland occurred on Monday 26th inst. It owing to its being one or two days before they were expected, the splendid decorations in preparation were not completed. No triumphal arches, no flags waving in the breeze, no firing of cannon to welcome the lovely and amiable bride to her new Canadian home, but we feel convinced that she did not think it one bit the less cordial on that account. In fact, so sudden was their arrival that the suite of apartments set apart for their use in Reydon Cottages were not even finished furnishing - and some fear were entertained that they would have to take their rest on the floor, but most providentialy, being old travellers, they had brought their bed with them. The deputation of slaves did not even present their address. I am affraid "A Victim" and "A fellow sufferer" who were to have headed it, must have been kept at home by those "Monsters" called "Husbands." In Company with the Bride and Bridegroom were two young gentlemen Englishmen by birth but who have been living in Germany for many years. They also are going to make a home for themselves in Canada, the younger one we believe in Toronto nd the Elder becomes a member of No 1 College and intends to follow the agricultural profession under the tuition of Major Strickland, of which we should say he would make an honorable member. Physicaly, we should think him well addapted for it, having a pair of shoulders on him that would bear any weight. A little hard work will improve his figure which is now inclined to be corpulent. We intend to ask him when personaly acquainted wether he knows how to make German sausage, it being an article of food to which we are especialy partial.

We are happy to notice that the Lakefield choir has been restablished & is greatly assisted in its labours by a melodian, the gift of S. Strickland Esquire, who always sets such a good example of generosity to his fellow parishioners & to whose strenuous exertions we are mainly indebted for the erection of our pretty little Church.

Editor. -

My dear Mr. Editor. Having read in your Paper a letter from a person signing himself FRT in which he wishes to gain as much insight as possible into the manner in which young gentlemen are treated and cared for by any one who undertakes their agricultural education, I thought wishing myself to take a pupil, a few words on my [systim] would not be objectionable. Firstly, I must say that the character given of "Augustus" reminds me of one of those very fine children so often heard of but rarely seen. For this we can easily make allowance, as it is quite natural that all parents should take a pride in their children in contra distinction to any others. As to his Fathers thinking that his physical powers would for the first year or two be of any avail to his Preceptor for such a country as Canada, the idea is ridiculous. As I have often known a young Hercules in miniature out here, who was expected by his friends at home nearly to defray the expense of his board by his own labour, not as the old Proverb says "Worth his own salt." His Father also mentions his mental qualification is as being out of the common, and although we don't in the least doubt it, still it is a matter of very little importance as they are articles not in much request in Canada, his shooting propensities will soon be cured as the paucity of game renders it both a laborious and fruitless occupation attempting to fill your bag. Now Mr. Editor, knowing me personaly as you do, you must be aware that my sentiments, strictly the last, and apparently the only vice, this treasure possesses and that is smoking, nothing seems to me so sensual and natural as this horrid habit which mere boys of the present day indulge in, my [systim] as nearly as possibly resembles that excellent [ ] in your Paper of 25th [28th] of April headed "The best receipt in the life of any man." For I think it embraces all that is able to make a man both "healthy" "wealthy" and "wise." The Father of Augustus would easily be satisfied with my premium, it being quite moderate, but the first year must be paid in advance the sum of 75 £ Sterling per annum (Washing and mending not included). Of course, Mr. Editor, if this letter would be of any use to you, you are at perfect liberty to publish it.

I remain your obedient Servant
"A Pupil Seeker"

Sporting Intelligence

An extraordinary and rare occurrence took place the other day in our little Clearing. - Mr. Editor. - You are all well acquainted with Bachelor's Hall & its inmates, even to the worthy housekeeper, and will be surprised to hear that it has been the scene of one of the most

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sporting things of the season. On Friday 31st, inst. at about 1/2 past one as Mr. D'Arcy was taking a nap on the sofa (his preceptor being out), he was suddenly arroused from his drowsy slumbers by Mrs. Collins rushing in & in great excitement telling him, as he first imagined that there was a whirlpool in the chip yard. In an instant his ideas were collected, and he said, "I must off, for Major Strickland's anvil, that is the thing that I have read of which will cause it to break without harm." Mrs. Collins, as she reclined fainting on a chair, said, "No, no, it is a Bear of wolf, I do not know which." Mr. F.H. D'Arcy was then in his element. In a moment he seized his rifle which was hanging ready loaded for any such emergency and boldly sallied into the chip yard, Mrs. Collins, being afraid, to stop behind, backing him up. On arriving there he soon spied his formidable foe. Standing on his hind legs in a corner of the yard prepared for battle, at wh'ch sight Mrs. Collins was so much overcome that she had to cling to Mr. D'Arcy for support, praying him to take care of his precious self, and let the nasty 'varmint' alone, but the gallant D'Arcy, after placing Mrs. Collins on a log, valiantly advanced, rifle in hand, to attack the dangerous animal, which on seeing him approach with such a determined air, assumed its most furious aspect, but nothing daunted, Mr. D'arcy clapped his rifle to his ear and pulled the trigger, which signed its death warrant, after which he examined it & having referred to books on natural history, found that he had killed a most dangerous specimen of the porcupine tribe, an animal that has not been seen in these parts for many years. [ ]. We hear that he kindly presented the skin to his brother pupil, H. Pearce Esquire, as a token of his brotherly friendship.

Correspondence

Mr. Editor. -

As amateur gardening appears to be the order of the day in this industrious little clearing, perhaps a few plain & simple hints from a plain & simple man, may not be unacceptable.

1st

Plant your seeds in the right seasons.

2nd

If they require sun don't place them completely in the shade.

3rd.

Don't sow carrots & beet root where there is only an inch of soil & beneath that solid granite rocks, as however extraordinary it may appear, it has been found by experience that all plants that send forth a tap root penetrate easier thro' [fine] loose mould, than the hard firm stone.

4th

Keep your garden perfectly clean, but at the same time, do not pull up the young plants instead of weeds, as by so doing, it is generaly found that the crop does not prove so productive.

5th

When you have sown your seeds do not uncover them every day, to see if they are sprouting. It may appear a great want of curiosity not to do so but it is now generally believed that it does not induce them to grow faster.

6 & lastly.

Do every that is right & necessary for a garden, cause the plants to grow healthy & strong & be productive & you need not fear but that you will have a good crop.

Yours humbly
old shovel.
Upper Douro.

We understand that the Governor general has set apart next Wednesday for a publick holiday on account of the peace.

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Mr. Editor. If you will allow me a small space in your valuable Paper, I should like to draw your attention towards the exemplary manner in which some of the young & even married men of the Clearings spend their mornings & evenings. We will commence with the proprietor of a small farm just over the brow of the Hill opposite S. Strickland's Esquire. We generaly meet him early, or rather pretty late in the day & after the usual morning salutations are over, ask him what he is going to do, to which the invariable reply is, "I am going to look after my cow." So off this gentleman walks & most [ ] to remark, the said cow is always found opposite the store of J. Sherin's. When he arrives there he is so fatigued, and "wants to light his pipe," that of course he must go in to get a match & generaly something of equal fiery nature. I should strongly reccommend this gentleman in future when asked the question as to his occupation for the day, today he is going to look after his cow and instead "of" with 2 Horns. But Mr. Editor, perhaps you will be surprised to hear that there is another occupation with which this gentleman passes his time, & let me tell you, it consists of "4 Horn more" in the shape of a yoke of missing oxen, which are sought for every alternate day, after the finding of the errant cow in the morning. About 3 miles from here a great drawback presents itself to the recovery of the cattle as there is a ruined House or rather shanty situated on a grassy knoll & a most inviting bench inside on which (after having forcibly expelled its woolly inhabitants the sheep) this gentleman & one who frequently accompanies him, sit down, light their pipes, & converse on things in general, invariably ending with the remark, "it's not good going any further today, it's so hot" or "so cold" or "so rainy" as the case may be. They then come home by a short cut through the woods & rob a poor Hen's nest of 10 eggs to satisfy the mere appetite by an "omelit." By this time, Mr. Editor, being evening, it is time

"To find the Missing Cow"

To be continued in our next. -

A Lady asked a gentleman one day the meaning of the word "surrogate." He replied "the gate through which all ladies pass [ ] they get married." "Oh," she replied, "I suppose then it is a corruption of the 2 words "sorrow gate." "You are right my dear," replied the gentleman, "for woman is merely a corruption of wo to man."

Arrivals

England

Mr. R.A. Strickland Esq.
Mrs. R.A. Strickland
Mr. W. Sherwood
Mr. J. Sherwood

Miss Traills - Rice Lake. -

Departures

Mr. J. Sherwood - for Toronto.

Latest Intelligence

We have just received the intelligence before going to press (& at the very last moment it was too) that E. Leigh Esquire & our worthy postmaster & Church warden, A. Casement Esquire are about to be appointed Justices of the peace to assist the gallant Major Strickland in his arduous Duties.

Thanks to W.P.B. for the news.


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday June 8th 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Kachewahnoonkah Herald
Monday June 8th

We will this week make a few remarks on the crops that are so luxuriant & which we may say, in general, are springing up so healthy in look. The Fall wheat being the first, soon ought, of course, to be the first to come under our notice. Judging from the fields, of E. Leigh, G. Strickland, F. Barlee Esquires, & our worthy incumbent, we should say that, to all appearances, it showed signs of yielding a very fine crop. The next in gradation, we think, comes the spring wheat, which, notwithstanding the cold bleak winds it has lately experienced, on the whole, looks pretty fair. The peas also look well, but the oats & potatoes are very backward owing, we presume, to the late coldness of the atmosphere which drew all growth out of the ground & occured at a very unfortunate time for the former, as the young plants were just springing up. But we think, however, this is greatly counterbalanced by the great promise the meadows throw out of a large produce of Hay. On the whole, we think we may heartily congratulate the Farmers & agriculturists of this clearing on the happy prospects which their fields present of a good return to their hard labours & although the time may be rather long, yet in the end we [ ] they will be well repayed, as the wheather, which already showes signs of a speady change, will no doubt cause their crops to grow exceedingly abundant.

Mr. Editor.

It is with pain & grief that we avert too melancholy occurrence about to take place in our little clearing. - It is no less than the departure of the much esteemed, in his own estimation, Maxwel - Gordon - Robertson of Straan - Since he has been amongst us he has signalised himself in many various ways. Coming out here at a tender age, to be a pupil of the father of the clearing, it was found that his immense physical abilities were of too high a standing for such light work as agriculture. So his attention was turned to a higher pursuit, that of architecture, his models of the various houses in the clearing, called forth the admiration of those conversant with the study. The minutiae were all placed with great skill, although a few of the roofs were not exactly in proportion. From architecture he has turned his attention to a still higher branch of science, engineering. He leaves us with heartfelt wishes for his advance in the line he has adopted & intense sorrow at his departure, which his seductive & winning manners, unaffectedness, sportsmanlike qualities & capital manner of Batting, which has gained for him the glorious appellation of "Young [ ]" have caused us to feel.

Many will be the heart stirring accounts of flood and field he will give to the early [ ] Port [ ], particularly his last exploit of steming a furious rapid occassioned by a Dam bursting and only by the strength of his muscular arm, his unerring presence of mind, his splendid management of the paddle, that saved himself & comrade from a watery grave. The biography of this noted man will be continued in our next.

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Mr. Editor. As there appeared in your Paper a few weeks ago an article, purporting to be written by one who had made a tour thro' the amateur gardens of the Clearing, and as each of the said gardens underwent a pretty severe criticism, under his or Hers critical eye, save and excepting the garden at the [rural] wheat of Frederic Barlee's Esq; we, never considering it too late to learn or to receive useful hints from those around, determined, the first opportunity, to pack up our carpet bag and make a days tour, thro' this patent model of a garden!!. Well, the day was sultry, I may say, muggy in the extreme; however, our curiosity was around, so nothing daunted. Off we trudged, and no incident occured worth noting until we arrived at our destination, save and excepting an occasional cold bath, here and there by stepping into mud and water above our boots, being bitten to death by musquitoe's and black flys, and arriving at our journeys end, rather quicker than we had intended by being pitched head over heels into a find bed of Canadian thistles, whilst endeavouring to surmount the exceedingly ingenious but rather precipitous [ ], which forms the chief entrance to the domains of the gentleman in question. However, you will perceive as we proceed, that we were most amply compensated for these few mishaps. - When we approached the mansion (which is built in the Canadian modern perpendicular style) we naturaly asked ourselves, where is the garden? We do not find in front of the edifice, so we proceed to the back, No, it is not there; so we put our pedestrian powers in motion and on we go thro vista's of wavy corn, its green and spiral leaves most beautifully contrasted by the picturesque and darkly tinted stubs and stumps, and the golden hues of magnificent Dandelions, reflecting their lovely mustard like colours, thro' the rays of a mid day sun. On, on, we go, our boots pleasantly shaded from the dust by the luxuriant growth of the Canadian thistle, and at length we reach some very broken & stupendious rocks!! We stop! take one fond look, wipe our foreheads and sit down on a very sharp stone; we are lost in amazement for before us in a peculiarly undulating valley lies, The Patent Model Garden!!! we have so eagerly sought. At one glance we perceive that the mind of the Proprietor is not the mind of any common market gardener, no, a far greater mind has evidently been at work, all symmetrical proportions with regard to right lines, so distasteful to the eye of the true artist being utterly disregarded instead thereof, we behold lovely little beds scattered in different directions, of various sizes & dimensions varying from two feet nine inches to 5 feet 4, the whole, five in number getting gradualy small and beautifully less towards an angle on that truly rustic, but not umbrageous device denominated a make fence under which cool retreat may the worthy proprietor, his Lady and family, enjoy their evening pipe, for many years to come. But we are digressing from our subject, so we must hark back as no doubt intense anxiety has been awakened to learn the contents of The Patent Model Garden. Readers, the mind of the owner, like other great minds being evidently simple & unpretending, we are enabled to describe the magnificent display of vegetables in one word, Onions!!! What, (perhaps it will be said) only onions, no we should not be speaking quite correct in saying so, for from our rocky eminence where we were perched, we distinctly saw the remains of four radishes, two having been devoured by the devastating grub, one nipped by the post, and the other trodden down by the blundering foot of the gardener's help, this grieved us much but a few whiffs of our pipe and one last look at the beautiful prospect, and we were ourselves again. Thus restored, we tore ourselves from the spot exclaiming, let every one who has plenty of time to spare, great strength of mind, & ditto of body, postpone not a visit to the Patent Model Garden.

A lover of Vegitable diet.

Dear Sir. For the second number of your Paper for this year, you expressed a hope that some evening amusements might be started to while away the wearry hours after the work of the day. And we are glad to see this motion was carried into effect last Thursday by the commencement of aquatic excursions on the Lake, in the Commodious and beautifully furnished [ ] of S. Stricklands Esq. The party consisted of Mrs. R. Strickland and her husband in the Stern, Miss Traill in the bow & Messes George Strickland and W.P. Band at the oars. The evening was lovely but unfortunately a little chilly, so that the party need to land sooner than they would otherwise have done, but this was rather an advantage for the two rowers, who we both pitied and envied, as although the work was hard, what was that compared to the exquisite delight of having a lady in the bow as a figure head, whose personal attractions are only exceeded by her sweetness of manner, and affability of temper, and as we followed in the "trail" of the big boat in our little canoe, we mentaly resolved to do all in our power to christen it, "Lâ bell Kàtarine," feeling very much like "Jonah" in the wales body, i.e. down in the mouth, and ready to blubber, at not being with our two fellow batchelors, who although working with unrivalled grace and dexterity at their oars, were still enjoying the society of a beautifull girl, and feeling that there was little or no chance when W.P. Band was in question, we turned our canoe and with slow and sorrowful strokes at length brought her to land, but there again we could not help envying the [situation] of our last named friend who with that graceful deportment so natural to him was assisting "Lâ belle Katarine" from her seat in the bows (On the anchor) to the shore, hoping this excursion will soon be followed by

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others of a similar kind, and of which we may be allowed to be a partaker, we remain yours

A true admirer of the fair Sex

We publish the following letter to show our readers a slight example of what some females will come to, when not kept in their proper place by their Lords & masters.

Ed - Sir. It is impossible after the gross manner in which you have insulted me individually & my sex generally to sit down patiently & submit to it. Mr. Editor, you are no gentleman, you have not one feeling of a gentleman in your heart, or you never could so far have forgotten yourself as to call a poor harmless woman who merely asserts her rights "A Vixen." It is evident I made a mistake when I imagined you were of the honorable class of married men. You belong, I am convinced, to that despised and cross grained sect called "Old Batchelors" & therefore know nothing more than the way best to make yourself comfortable as you think, with a nasty filthy pipe & what is worse still horn after horn (as they are vulgarly termed) of that never to be sufficiently abhored beverage "Whiskey". Your correspondent, a "Fellow Sufferer" who in a somewhat milder way carried out my own sentiments, is likewise not spared in your insulting article. She, poor thing, appears to me of rather a timid nature, so possibly will not take up the cudgels against you. Indeed I should think she was slightly afraid of her husband but perhaps he is a worse specimen of the genus than usual. Now I am happy to say I have got mine well under my hand in every particular, but giving me holidays, which is a thing he won't hear of at present, but I am up to a dodge or two & if I can't manage it by fair means I will [small piece of page missing] & then I will write you an account [of my] trip & make your old cantankerous [ ] curdle with seeing how much I enjoyed [myself]. I remain your enraged enemy

"A Victim" but not a "Vixen"

Mr. Editor. I must trouble you with a few lines, to point out to you a fact which perhaps you yourself have not noticed & that is the innate gallantry which exists in the young men of the Clearing, & which can't even be overcome by a long continued absence from ladies society, with whom they could improve there abilities for flirting & general deportment. For we ourselves saw Mr. W.P. Band & G. Strickland perspiring under the fatiguing but pleasing operation of [paddling] Miss "Trail" about (in a boat) and when next they take an excursion we shall only be too happy to relieve them of a part of their duty.

Yours truly "Legs"

Sir. We were very glad to observe in your "Herald" of last week that our kind friend & neighbour, E. Leigh, Esq. has been appointed to the arduous but honourable post of "Justice of the Peace" and we are glad to see that he will be assisted by a Casement!! to look thro' the innumerable cases that will no doubt be brought before him and consequently will spare no pains (panes) in the execution of his high & important functions.

Challenge

Mr. Beatty of Wilby Cottage & Mr. Barlee of Stump Cottage will be happy to make a match to shoot at pigeons from a trap, against any other two gentlemen in the Clearings, the losers to pay for the birds.

An Ode

No! more shall we hear the blithesome but rather loud laugh. No! more shall we hear the melodius but rather deep voice raised in song. No! more shall we see the beet weilded by the stalwart arm. No! more shall we see the "punt "walk the waters like a thing of life. No! more shall we see the deadly Rifle barrel pointed by the unflinching eye. No! more shall we see the pink of perfection in dress. No! more shall we hear the firm sound of those feet & stout legs!!! Maxwell Gordon Robertson!!! of Strahan!!! !!!has left us!!!

Mr. Editor. As I am a young married man I must trouble you with a few words, concerning an attack made on us by letter in your last week's paper. Although to judge by the letter it was written more for the sake of emiting the writers private pique against one of the class, For tho' he says? Some of the young married men; Nevertheless he commenced with one and sticks to him all through his very clever letter. Now, mr. Editor, we all know the gentleman he alludes to, and a more respectable member of society there is not in the Clearing, nor is he one likely to put up with any such wonton attack as this, And I would caution this gentleman or rather person who is affraid to put any signature to his letter, Not to play with the Bull too much. Beware the horns. For although he may be an admirer of horns applyed internally, he may not find them so agreeable when received externally, He say. It is to be continued in your next . Now in the gentleman's own words, it is no good going any further, or he may find it o hot for him. But I prophesy Mr. Editor that we shall not be honored with any more of this cutting and wity philippic, against a quiet inoffensive individual and by this means has gratified his pique and malice in what he considers a very clever manner, and what is of more consequence to him, without any fear of an unpleasant fracas.

I remain, Sir, one

"Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re."

A race will come off this week between S. Stricklands boat, "The Roaring Billy" and F.A. D'Arcy's Canoe, "La Belle Katarine", "The Billy," to be pulled by E. Leigh and H. Pearse, "The Katarine" to be paddled by R. Strickland and F.Barlee. Due notice will be given of the day of the Race.

Meteorological observations: great electricity in the air during the week and heavy falls of rain, with thunder.

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A Stranger arriving in the Clearing last Saturday at about one P.M. would have wondered at seeing so many of both sexes blending their steps to one point, what gay doing was going forward? He might have immagined they were all going to a fair, But No, it was one of those meetings seen but in Canada called a Bee. A Bee to assist our worthy incumbent and his Lady to raise their barn. We need not say that all on such an occasion [were] most active and some of the younger ones rendered more espicialy so by knowing that fair faces and beaming eyes were watching their motions. We must say we are pleased to see the ladies of the Clearing present at such scenes. It gives them a relaxation from their household work which we hope they will appreciate. We are happy to say no accident occurred with the exception of F. H. D'Arcy Esq slightly spraining his ancle in his over anxiety to jump forward and lift a very heavy piece of timber; after the work, all partook of a sumptuous repast prepared in Mrs. Warrens usual excellent style. The Worthy Incumbent taking the head of one table, and F. Barlee Esqr his respected brotherinlaw with his accustomed grace and dexterity the other, after which all paired off with their respective ladies and wended their way home. We must not omit to mention that Mrs. Warren with her accustomed charity distributed the remains of the feast to the poor.

This communication was unfortunately crowded out of our last week's publication.

Mr. Editor.
We have to record unheard of events in this clearing, a species of frenzy appears to have seized the young men, a most unaccountable panic has got amongst them. We allude to depriving the [ ] of its greatest ornaments. Razors that had become rusty from long inactivity, with gaps here & there from these last scrapes were most vigorously applied to [ ], covered with dust & almost unfit for use, until they arrived at that state of acuteness which would allow of a hair being cut in two. Then & not till then were upper lips & chin laid under a contribution from soap & brush. The lathering was tremendous, soap suds are nothing to it. The only similie we can apply to it is a dog in a state of Hydrophobia foaming at the mouth - moustaches that had curled gracefully, above the [ ] were sacrificed to the upper lip's importunities. Beard that had kept the wearers throat & chin warm during the winter, were sacrificed to soap and gross supplinations, it being declared that only half could reach the mouth, owing to the considerable quantity the beard absorbed. We even heard of one young man evidently not in the habit of doing the needful for himself, begging another party to do it for him, which said party, not being in the habit of shaving other people, precious nearly made a gap, too wide to be easily mended. Now, Mr. Editor, perhaps you can tell us the reason of this unheard of movement, was it caused by the arrival of a Lady from England & where we all know Beards etc. are not held in very high estimation, or was it, more probably, & we have no doubt, caused by a few words that fell from the sweet lips of a young Lady, at present on a visit to Reydon cottage, expressing her dislike to the [H---] movement, as we believe it is called. [ ] let that be as it may, we were not a little astonished, on our way to church yesterday morning, at seeing strong evidences of the Razors sharpness, by certain Blue & untanned spots, where hair had been, in fact, hardly recognizing the individual. It rests with you, Mr. Editor, as a man of taste to say which is most becoming.

A Shaver.

We have engaged the services of an artist lately arrived from England to illustrate subjects which we give him from this paper. We trust they will give satisfaction. Next week we intend to give life like Portraits of the heads of the different Colleges, with their most celebrated pupils. Editor.


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday June 16th 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Katchewahnookah Herald

Monday June 16th

Having heard from our own correspondent the news of the dismissal of our English ambassador & consuls from the territory of the United States we think we can hardly let another week pass over without expressing a little bit of our minds concerning the disagreements at present existing between Great Britain and the United States. It is at all times a grievous thing to witness two nations quarreling with each other whatever may be the cause but more especially is it when that cause is of so trifling a nature. Who can say but that England, or rather the government of England, have done all that lies in their power consist ant with the honour of Great Britain to mend the already too open breach? But the Americans instead of taking the proffered hand of friendship & letting bygones be bygones, seem on the contrary endeavouring with their utmost to make it still wider & wider. Let them mind what they are about & not run head long into those hostilities which, whence once began, they may find themselves the losers by. Not that we think that these dismissals will be a casus belli, far from it, for two nations can hold no intercourse with each other, yet need not beat war, but what we mean to say is that unless they soon check themselves in causing so many little broils they will so exasperate England that there will be no other alternative but war & all the horrors attendant upon it. For we can assure the Americans that we are not to be trifled with & will make no concession which may call in question the honor of our native country. Editor.

This morning, as we were generaly wont, we pursued our way to Church and when we entered the welcome House of S. Strickland, Esq're, what was our surprise at beholding all the young men of the Clearing with a peice of gaudy ribbon (which, however, struck us as being very dirty) cut in the shape of a heart pinned to their coats on the left side. We immediately enquired the reason of this, to us, unaccountable, [freak], and were immediately answered that it was the order of la Belle Catarina. With this however we were not satisfied, as were perhaps as wise as before, but after many minute inquiries we ascertained that one of the ladies at present staying here had presented this ribbon to a certain young gentleman the night before & when all his friends saw it on the morning in question they became so frightfully jealous that nothing must do them but it was doomed to be cut up & worn as the order of la Belle Catarina throughout the day. What the feelings of this fair lady were can more easily be immagined than written &, as we feel ourselves perfectly inadequate to the task, we merely content ourselves with saying that the [ ] have felt very proud of having so many "beans' & being so highly "favoured".

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Mr. Editor. We understand that shortly a meeting of the leading agriculturists of the clearing will be held to confer on William Penruddick Band & Thomas Balguy Allan their Diploma of proficiency in agriculture. They will first undergo a short examination after which the diploma will be presented to them on Vellum by the Father of the Clearing with an appropriate speach. A brief account of the two young gentlemen may not be unacceptable to our readers. William Penruddick Band is decended as his name shows from an ancient Welsh family and we believe it is a thing beyond dispute that it was a "Band" that first welcomed the landing of William the Conqueror to the British shores, his earlier years being passed in that country which goes by the name of the garden of England gave him that exquisite task which he so evidently possesses in gardening. He emigrated to Canada at the age of 14 more or less and commenced to study with Major Strickland to gain that honor which we shall soon have the pleasure of seeing presented to him. Of an affable disposition, of great physical strength, very active and energetic, he is well adapted for the profession he has chosen. Thomas Balguy Allan derives his origin we believe from an old Yorkshire family who have their descendants back to within a great great grandfather or two of Adam. Thomas Balguy has not only paid attention to agricultural matters, but has also tried his hand at "Les belles Lettres" and succeeded in a manner most gratifying to all. Every one knows the renown he has gained as "Editor" of the "Kachewahnoonkah Herald." We believe it is not his intention to stop here, but that he will soon publish a work on "Ornithology," a work much wanted in Canada. He emigrated when quite young and also studied under Major Strickland and will, we have no doubt, make a good farmer and agreable neighbour.

I remain yours, "Alpha"

Due notice will be given in this paper of the day this interesting ceremony will take place. Ed.

The Governor and his Eldest son will accept the Challenge to shoot pigeons put forth by the Squire of Willy and his Kinsman.
N.B. Pigeons to be found by the Challengers and not to exceed 1/6 per pair.


Kachewahnookah Herald

Monday June 23rd 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Dear readers -
The hitherto unsullied Katchewahnoonkah Herald has maintained its ground for the last few months, giving pleasure to its readers, and making them look forward to the morning paper with a feeling of anticipated delight and though it has been transmitted into other hands, who do not for a moment expect to equal its former brilliant circulation, yet we hope it may not be altogether unwelcome to the majority of its former readers. Before requesting your continued patronage of the paper, we would give everyone a fair chance of judging of our morals (as someone very wisely observed), "if you have any") by the following remarks.

In the first place then it is a through Protestant Journal, and though we have no direct spite against the Roman Catholicks, we consider them very dangerous members of society. Another subject on which we take great interest is the deeply momentous question of "Sectarian Schools," and as a matter of course, take that side wh. every man of sound sense and common judgment must know to be the right one. Daring the Election of last year, we agreed with nearly all the sentiments of [ ] [ ] Conger, who we were very happy to see placed in the position, wh. by his actions he has fully deserved. By these few remarks we hope you will be enabled to see that this paper is now carried on by those of as high a moral & physical standing as previously; and by your continued patronage you will greatly honour & oblige.

Your obedient servant
The Editor

A Lumberman was asked why it was they never wrote accounts of their journeys up the Lakes & His rather cute reply was, that they never could keep any logs, for they were no sooner ready, than they were taken from their trunks, thrown into the Lake, & being cribbed as a matter of course, they never saw them again.

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Mr. Editor -

It is with indescribable feelings of undiminished sorrow & regret that I have to record the departure of the lovely and accomplished Miss Catherine Traill, or in the softer Italian accent "La Bella Katarina". Her absence from our little Clearing is felt most keenly, in fact it has caused such a blank in the hearts of so many of the Bachelors, that we fear it will take a long space of time to heal the many wounds she has inflicted. The evening before the melancholy event took place, we were present at an evening party given by E. Leigh's Esq're, and witnessed the touching and truly affecting scene of presenting the Belle of Rice Lake with mementos of the high esteem and regard she was held in by the single as well as by the married men of the Clearings, the gift was truly appropriate, consisting of a Cupid in [Parian] marble enveloped in the most costly and lovely coloured ribbon, that T. Sherin's warehouse could produce. After the presentation Miss Traill rose, and with ease & grace she is always admired for, opened her rosy lips, displaying her ivories of pearly whiteness, to return thanks. Her speech which could only have proceeded from a person possessing such extraordinary abilities, was full of the most pathetic and touching language that can be imagined, and sank so deeply into the heart of her many hearers, that you would see them gradually retreating behind one another to repress the rising sigh and forbidden tear. Her pent up feelings not enabling her to express her sentiments in a very lengthy speech, she requested the Rev. P. S. Warren to do so for her, and he in a speech very appropriate under the circumstances, declined doing so, as being utterly incapable of expressing the ideas she wished to convey. After this deeply interesting ceremony, all the Ladies adjourned to the residence of L. Coll. Strickland. The evening being fine, the guests took a short survey of the extensive pleasure grounds, when the eyes of the assembled gentlemen could not resist following the steps & stately carriage of La Bella Catarina. After this the whole party proceeded to the drawing-room, where after an hour or two being expended in some very pleasant music, dancing was proposed, and after all the gentlemen, not excepting the persuasive and fascinating Mr. Leigh, had failed to induce her to dance the Polka, by the request of E. Beatty Esq., a quadrille was started, during which the fortunate possessor of her hand (pro.tem.) led her through the maizes of the dance in a manner very unsuitable to her usual stately motions. Immediately at the end of the last figure, Mrs. R. Strickland with her accustomed affability, by request, commenced a Polka, and our Heroine mistaking it for the Douro figure, had no qualms of conscience in proceeding in the usual manner, or we should rather say in an unusual manner, considering after all his [ ] Mr. D'Arcy could not succeed in twining his arms around her taper waist, owing to the deep sense

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of propriety, with which she is endued, but with her hands clasped in his, they [figured] round the room, greatly we are sorry to say to the amusement of the spectators, but from which of the parties, bad dancing, we cannot say. Being sorry, Mr. Editor, to have taken up such a large portion of your valuable paper,

I remain
Rara avis in terris, nigroque simillima cygno.

Q. Why is Miss Trail like a Candle?

An. Because she has a Taper waist.

Meteorological Observations

The unprecedented cold weather that lately visited us at this advanced state of the summer season, is generally supposed to have been produced by the coolness that exists between England & America.

Dear Mr. Editor -

We have with great pleasure noticed the purchase of land, by some of the young men now residing at S. Strickland's Esq'e. Among others there is one which has given us more than double joy. We allude to that of J. Jury Jun.'s farm by Mr. W. Sherwood, who having lately arrived from Germany, without further delay looked about him for a home and habilation; in this we are happy to say he was successful. Mr. W. Sherwood has been for several years the pupil of a wealthy farmer in Germany, where by a steady application to his studies, and strict obedience to his preceptors dictates, he gained a large insight into the intricacies of farming, and is now enabled to enter upon that pursuit himself with a few further instructions about the Canadian style. Already have we noticed him driving a yoke of oxen, hitched to a waggon, drawing lumber from the falls to S. Strickland Esq's stone building, and really, from what we saw, we may undoubtedly say that it would have done credit to a more experienced teamsted. It is generally understood that Mr. Sherwood intends before regularly settling down, to be provided with an all sufficient cook, something after the style of Mr. Collins of far famed renown. But we most strongly advise him to reconsider the matter and take unto himself a wife whereby he will both save himself the expense of a House-keeper and also have a pleasant companion.

I remain
Yours
an Eye-Witness.

Mr. Editor -

We are glad to see the cheerful & willing way in which the different residents in this clearing help each other as was shown last week in the meeting at Mr. [ ] for the purpose of preparing himself & Pupils for the [Brat] Races. The quantity of work provided, would not have taken one person long to accomplish, consequently when divided among the Ladies one would expect that every stitch would have been finished, but alas such was not the case; two of the Ladies would do no work except try & quiet their uproarious children, whole musical squawling we hope every one admired.

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We think for the future when the ladies are invited to a sewing bee, that the babies had better remain at home, and go to sleep comfortably in their cradles.

Ode to Inconstancy

No more is Fanny the only thought,
Which enthrals poor Pierces love.
I say it with shame, for I think he ought
Ever constant to her prove.

But like the Patriarch Isaac of old,
(The story of course you've often been told)
Our gentleman Hero no longer will take ob-
Servance, of any but pretty miss "Jacob."

On her pups poor Fanny her care bestows
Mr. Pierce I give you warning -
Your first love & latest will come to blows
And then we shall all be in morning.

If a bride you take home of the Indian breed
Your Father and mother would sorrow indeed
So repent foolish youth: "take warning be sure"
And if you must marry, why don't choose a squaw.

Arrivals

This Clearing was visited last week by a party of ladies, driven up by the Rev. V. Clementi & his two sons - Mrs. [ ], her two daughters & Miss MacCormick, who we hope enjoyed their paddle on the Lake in the afternoon, divided & some drank tea with S. Strickland Esq're and others with the equally hospitable Mr. Beatty.

Miss Ellen Read, who we hope cannot expect to eclipse Miss Trail's [Traill's] favourable acception.

Miss J. Strickland, to add the sunshine of her countenance to this isolated spot for a short time.

The Miss[ ] W. Read, J. & F. Stewart & W. Armstrong, the latter of whom displayed his muscular faculties so well in the last Canoe race.

Mr. Henry Read - to hear the Harmonious & singers in the church - we think another time he might bring up his wife, particularly as Miss MacNeil is staying with him.

Departures

Miss Catharine Trail [Traill] who drove down not only the "ribbons" but the love & admiration of the many who have the pleasure & honour of knowing her.

Mr. Editor -

Our Clearing the last week has been visited by a family of the original proprietor of this noble country. The party consists of a Veteran Indian, Isaac Iron, his squaw, 2 master Iron's & Miss Iron with her governess Miss Maria Jacob. They are encamped opposite Col. Strickland in the regular Indian Style and as there are many in the Clearing who most likely have never seen any thing of the kind, we should most certainly recommend these paying a visit to the camp. They need be of no alarm, its inmates being perfectly tame and we hear from a person, who has visited them more than once, that they are always pleased to receive visitors, especially if they bring Bullseyes, or any other kind of sweetmeat with them. We think it right they should be treated as a friend of our's [ ] in every respect as our equals, but perhaps he might have referred to the governess & not to the rest of the Family. I remain yours, one who, admires, associates, & visits -

The governess.


Kachewahnoohkah Herald

[June 30 1856]

[Note: the date of the following incomplete issue is not verified; however, the item beginning "Mr. Editor - I have a few words..." refers to a story in "last weeks paper" about leaving the "cradle at home," a story covered in the June 23, 1856 issue]

...

Fleet [trot] in the Polka
Save answers returning
Great hand, as a joker
How sound is thy learning!

Like the dew on the [pewters]
Like thy talents so clever
Like the babble of thy suitors
Thou art gone and for ever

A sad me!!

Mr. Editor

I think that if before your next regatta you would kindly give some of our young men a hint of how to hoist the flag they carry in their brats it might save some rather ridiculous mistakes. I myself saw a large craft on the day of the Regatta come Bowling along in great [ ] instead of being, as its flag designated, in the greatest distress. The Flag being a blue Ensyne hoisted Union down in the bows, a curious place to hoist it under any circumstances.

I remain yours
A looker-on.

Not being either a naval or military man, we therefore know nothing either about flags or Ensyns, & only hope the looker on will give us his "few hints" himself.

Why is this clearing like the Clouds? Because it contains "Thunder" & "Lightening."

Why is the Editor of this Paper like Josephine? Because it records the doings & sayings of the multitude [ ].

Mr. Editor

I have a few words to say to you about a letter you allowed to be put in, in your last weeks paper. More shame to you for so doing. I, Sir, was one of this [past] ladies, who [generously] & kindly came and assisted to make skirts & trousers for you & some pupils so that you might appear decent at the Regatta & although I am not the possessor of either of those sweet babes, still I may some day be placed in the same situation, that their mother (illegible) in that evening, and I should think it then as I do now a most unmanly thing of you to allow any such letter to be published & I feel convinced, Mr. Editor, it must have been an oversight on your part. I am sure a man of your well known gallantry, devotion & love to the fairer portion of the Creation would never willingly cause them pain. The writer of that letter is beneath my notice, so (illegible again I am sorry to say) left that cradle at Home to which she wished to consign those two sweet babies. He cannot have forgotten the joy he felt when his mama took him out to spend an evening with her, instead of leaving him at home with the nurse, but in this country, children soon become men, and I suppose the (illegible) eyes of the babes on that evening reminded him so much of the nursing he had

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first escaped from that he half expected to see nurse walk in & say Master it is time you were a bed.

I remain
Yours a [ ] female.

We think this a capital letter & we only hope that the writer may soon be in the "same situation as the mothers" of those children were on the evening of the Party.

The Editor.

Mr. Editor

Thinking a short account of the grand Pic-nick, that took place last week at Mud Lake might not be unacceptable to the majority of your readers, I determined to lay before you some of the most striking scenes that occurred to me. After the two gentlemen who left Douro at nine A.M. to join the festive party had driven to Peterboro very leisurely & found that the whole [C---], consisting of no less than 4 [B---] had gone on without waiting for them, their indignation knew no bounds. However acting in a most laudable manner they procured six bottles of Bass's pale ale, and after their steed had refreshed himself, not as they had done, with whisky & water, but with oats & water, they again proceeded on the Mud Lake road endeavouring by hard driving to come up with their comrades, but as they had the start by an hour & 1/2 & the distance is only 7 miles they had little chance, but drove nearly a mile too far & as the Party had stopped on the point this side of the Lake. Their meeting was characteristic & very uncommon, as the first remark made was "good morning Mrs. so & so." "It is very hot, is it not." "Very indeed." "Did you not get very much shaken." "Well, not very, there is too much dust on the road." And so on. After this, we are sorry to say, that instead of making themselves agreeable, they immediately started to call in some of the ladies to dinner who had gone to enjoy themselves on the Lake, & after Mrs. Band's abusing Mrs. Vizard for not keeping stroke & Mrs. Vizard doing the same to Mr. Band, they at length succeeded in doing so, and having advised the ladies to return to dinner, hastened thither themselves. The dinner was excellent consisting of all the delicious of the season - strawberries, ice, & in fact, everything one could desire in the eating line, but as to the Punch, the cold iced Punch, O' ye gods, mention it not. We can only say that if the nectar that the fabulous Deities of old used to get boozy upon, was half as good, they might [ ] about it, but we cannot believe it was. After the dinner had dissapeared and about two gallons of the said Punch, the guests began to do so also, except a few who remained behind & rowed across Mud Lake, amongst whom was our two friends who did their best to please the few fair remainders that had preferred the cool air of the country to the dust of Peterboro. Suffice it to say that after a pleasant paddle & equally pleasant flirtation, the remaining buggies drove off and took the rest of the party home except our two friends (to be continued).


Kachewahnoohkah Herald

Saturday November 14th 1856

Et libros et amicos non plurimos Guevo sel optimos

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Clearings, again (after our Summer Recess) we intend to try whether we cannot enliven a few of your idle moments during the approaching winter, not that we mean to suppose that any of you of either sex have any really idle moment but we allude to those when your physical strength being exhausted you feel that if you had some light cheerful & sensible paper to turn to, you could peruse it with such pleasure that it would both refresh your mind and relieve your body, and again you would return to your daily labour as lively as that Lion we read of. Ladies and Gentlemen, in Editing this Paper, that is the point we steer for, and although we may find it a long voyage, if once arrived at T.B. Allan and F. Barlee will be amply rewarded.

Persons sending contributions to this paper will be kind enough to do so, not later than Thursday, as the Paper will be published every Saturday. The Editors of course reserving to themselves the privilege of inserting such contributions, or not, as they consider proper.

The various Readers of this Paper would extremly oblige the Editors if they would take as much care as they can, not to tear or lose it, as they file them all, so that at any future time wishing to know the date of any remarkable event that has taken place in these Clearings they have only to refer to the Paper.

The Editors

In taking a Review of the principle events that have happened in the Clearing during our recess, we must first call your attention to the noble mansion erected by Lt. Col. Strickland. The inside is now completed, the rooms down stairs are of a vast size, and lofty, still, nevertheless you do not receive that feeling of gloomy grandeur which you cannot escape from in some of the mansions of our old World Noblemen, owing to the exquisite taste with which they are going to be furnished. The drawing room, or we might say, reception room, displays upon its ceiling work of such elaborate art, that it might be supposed to emanate from the brain of an Andrea Palladio, it is a chefs dæuvre of the highest order. The private apartments for the family will be we believe furnished on an equal style of magnificence, the rooms for the numerous young Noblemen and gentlemen whom the Colonel receives into his family to instruct in agriculture will be all that a young man of taste could require. The cuisine department is also most recherchi as well as all the other private arangements. We would most decidedly advise everyone who has not inspected it to do so, by applying to the Colonel they may obtain permission and he will most likely show them over in person. They will have no difficulty in finding the mansion, it being very close to the high road, so close in fact that some of the necessary things pertaining to building a mansion have for the last 6 months nearly blocked up the said high road, but now that it is finished we have no doubt we shall soon be able to see the road again. The Mansion is such that it will stand for many ages as a memorial to the future generations of Stricklands, what the activity, energy and perseverance of their forefather the first of that Name in the Backwoods could accomplish.

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We have also to report the arrival of some strangers to our rapidly increasing clearing. Firstly, the Rev'd Mr. Warren has presented our Worthy incumbent with another of those little tributes of affection so gratifying to every Father. Secondly, we have received a rather larger addition in the persons of C.F. Fuller, Esq'r and Mrs. Harvey, his sister, who have taken a farm above Mr. J. Jury's and are there living in quiet rural solitude, after the wear and worries of a town life. They are all that could be desired, Mr. Fuller from what we have heard, has a fine voice, but it appears to us to want cultivation, and then we have no doubt he would be a great addition to our musical soirees, Mrs. Harvey's "have a care." She is an able horsewoman, and we have heard a bit of a whip.

Mr. G. Barlee has erected a house on some land he has purchased lately. We trust he will succeed, and in his green old age when surrounded by his children's children, be able to rest his weary old bones under the roof of a stone mansion. He has at present a younger brother living with him, a promising youth of 17 or 18, whom we trust will ever keep in mind those precepts implanted on the virgin soil of his mind, by his first Preceptor F. Barlee, Esquire. Our Worthy young friend, W.P. Band, whose land adjoins Mr. Barlee's, with that never failing regard to his own delicate state of health, has let the job of clearing 10 acres, upon which we believe in a year or two he intends placing a house, and we think perhaps it may be a stone one, as we can hardly believe any other would be comfortable for him. The Rev'd P.S. Warren, our respected Incumbent, has had two or three narrow escapes from fire (we mean his house has) but thanks to the activity of the young men of the Clearing, he still has a roof over his head, which although, of little consequence to a man so devoted to camping out, must be a source of comfort to his wife, amiable Brother, and innocent Babes. Mr. F. Warren, we believe, intends staying over the winter with his brother. We rather suspect that he is half inclined to turn Canadian, and that some softer voice and more beaming eyes, than those of a Brother, have been called into play, to keep him from returning to his native home. In fact, that that passion which effects both the rich and the poor, the young and the middle aged, has taken possession of his stalwart form, we mean "Love." -

Our old friends (we mean old as friends), Mr. & Mrs. Beatty, are much as we left them, perhaps the gentleman is a slight degree thinner from the labours of the summer, his Lady, we cannot say in this respect, has followed the example of her Lord and Master; laughing must be a most healthy amusement.

E. Leigh, Esq'r, we are grieved to say, has not been lately as he used to was, the life and soul of the clearing, flashing gaily here and there as the transient gleams of the morning sun, some dark cloud seems to have overshadowed him, it may be anxiety for his truant pupils. R. Strickland, Esq'r has this week taken possession of Reydon Cottage. We only hope he will not find it too large for his family. Our little Village of Lakefeild is going on thrivingly. Another store has been started by R. Casement, a Brother magistrate of Lt. Col. Stricklands, & E. Leigh's Esq'r - so we think you may be sure of justice in buying your tea and sugar.

The crops, which when we last left our editorial office to take a ramble along the thorny Hedge rows, were being decayed, & so by the capricious whims of the Bluff Boreous are now all gathered into the Barns, there to await in peaceful solitude the coming of the thrashing machine; with the exception of their owners. The fields from whence they came Have again undergone the process of the plough & are now prepared for the coming winter. The Fall wheat has been sown & Harrowed & is now in a very promising condition as it covers the ground with its verdant [ ].

The Sporting season has gained its maturity with varied successes to its unwearied followers. Amongst the most remarkable instances of sport we must record, is that of E. Beatty & W.P. Bands & who after spending a week in Deer Bay, succeeded in bagging three wounded deer.

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Such was the amount of their sport that they were under the necessity of hiring Mr. W'm Young's team & waggon to convey them across. Our Autumnal Friend from Toronto has again given us another instance of his prowess by this knowing way in which he "dodged" & finally overcame a very handsome Doe, & by causing the destruction of a Poor, unfortunate Partridge at which he took unerring aim whilst perched in the branches of a fir tree, but unluckily when he hastened to pick up his fallen victim, he was unable to find but a few scattered fragments to fetch back as trophies to the camp.

My dear Mr. Editor

I am rejoiced to find that your invaluable paper is again to appear before the Public, causing as it does so much amusement in our happy and intellectual little clearing, but perhaps you will permit me to suggest that you would confer a great favor on the Ladies of the said clearing if you were now and then to give them a column with the fashions of the day, as many of them are obliged to be their own dressmakers, hoping you will, excuse this hint, I remain dear Mr. Editor your devoted admirer.

"A Notary of fashion"

Mr. Editor

Wishing as much as lays in our power to be of use to all our Readers and more especially those of the fair sex, we think we cannot do better than describe a few of the elegant costumes we saw the other day at a bridal in our neighbourhood where was gathered together all the élite of Canada West. One Lady called forth our intense admiration as well for the elegance as simplicity of her attire. It consisted of a robe of red Cobourg rather approaching to a foxy shade made plain in the skirt, the corsage high to the throat and very full being confined at the bust by something we could not see, the fullness concealing it, [ ] á la Bishop. Round her fair throat she wore a small scarf evidently from the Indian loom, beneath so as hardly to noticed a magnificent diamond brooch. Her hair was in that simple style in which Petrachs Laura generally is depicted. "Chaupenn" blackworsted stockings & black "Cottines." Another Lady's headdress was worthy of notice. It was managed by drawing the back hair very tight and then twisting it into a small lump that projected about six inches beyond the back of the head. At the end of this knob affixed a bow of brown ribbons with ends. It had a very distingue appearance. Some of the gentlemens costumes were equally elegant, particularly that of a young man with a splendid head of auburn hair. He evidently showed he had been used to move in the highest circles, but our space will not allow us to particularize any now but at some future time perchance we will do so.

We were constrained last Wednesday morning to take a walk on business some miles beyond the Village of Lakefield and altho' we were rather annoyed at the necessity of doing so at first, we were glad afterwards as it gave us the opportunity of seeing with what an immense amount of patience and perseverance two of our respected friends and neighbours were endowed. We do not in general like mentioning names but this so much [ ] to their credit that we cannot refrain from doing so. Will it be believed that "Frederic Warren" Esq'r (Brother to our amiable & learned Rector) and Edward Leigh, J.P. positively remained waiting at the Post Office from the time we passed at 9 H [hour] - 0 M [minute] A.M. till our return at 1 H [hour] 0 M [minute] P.M. Is not this worthy of commendation & such unwearied patience!!! Now do not let me for

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one moment be supposed to hint that any other cause would keep the first named gentleman in attendance but his anxiety to get letters, but certainly we did see a very cheerful little countenance peeping over his shoulder, no - that is wrong - under his arm, as he with his commanding figure stood in the door way of the said post office. Now this sight set us thinking that perchance a few flying reports we had paid no attention to might have some truth in them. We trust it may be so. E. Leigh Esq'r J.P. we hope was rewarded for his weary watch by good news from his fair affiancee.

Our numerous readers we are sure will be gratified to hear of the safe return of Henry Pearse Esq'r from the back lakes after a hunting tour of nearly 3 months. He has been most successful killing seven deer himself. He was a rather curious figure on his return. We should say that a razor had not touched his face once and are certain that his hair had not been cut, and entertain some doubts about its having been acquainted with a brush and comb during the time he was away. His face was of a perfect tan colour we suppose from exposure to the sun. He was certainly a sight you would rather inspect at a distance than at close quarters.

For sale - a superior fine fat ox fit for killing the sooner the better. He can be viewed on anybodys premises excepting his masters, and has been well fed on hay, for the last fortnight. Price not so much an object as to get rid of him.

W. Barlee.

Dear Mr. Editor

I hasten on hearing of your paper being about to be published again, to draw your attention to the unfinished state in which our little churchyard has been left. Could not you through the powerful medium of your journal stir up our Churchwardens from the careless languor into which they seem to have fallen.

Yours [etc.] = A Church goer.

A letter of Thanks -

Mr. G. Barlee and H. Barlee, wish through the medium of our column, to express their heartfelt gratitude to Mr. Warren, Beatty and Barlee for the kind manner in which they have arranged their house and attended to all their wants. They feel themselves unable to make any other return excepting their sincere thanks.

We are sorry to have to record a sad accident, which might have been attended with fatal results and left a vacant seat on the bench, through the loss of our worthy Magistrate E. Leigh Esq. J.P. Whilst leaving the shores of Mr. Mathew Young his canoe, much to the surprise of his numerous friends present, precipitated him [ ] to the drink. Fortunately he was rescued from a watery grave by the exertions of the witnesses of his catastrophy.

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