Roommates

Perhaps one of the most anxious events that occur during your student's move to residence is living with someone they don't know. While most of our residence rooms are single rooms,  some students room with someone they have not met before and all students are living in close proximity to each other. In fact, research shows that strangers and friends have about the same rate of success as roommates. What truly makes the difference is the effort roommates put into getting along, being respectful and considerate of each other, and having open and honest communication.

Your student's Don will have roommate contracts available at any point during the year. This form covers the agreement between roommates on issues such as sharing property (food, computer), guests (hours, overnight), class, work, and social schedules, and policy violations. Students who take this roommate contract seriously are more likely to have a successful living experience.

Dealing with Conflict

Student Conflicts
When there is a conflict between students, encourage your student to talk with his or her roommate/fellow student immediately. They need to voice that they have a concern, tell their roommate what is bothering them, and work with their roommate to find an alternative that meets both of their needs. There are often problems between roommates, but neither one wants to address it. This only complicates the problem because things just keep getting worse. Problems are much easier to resolve on a smaller scale and when they are recent rather than after two people have had weeks or even months to stew about things.

If your student talks to you about problems with their roommate or another student in residence, encourage him or her to talk with the Student Don or College Residence Life Coordinator. Try to avoid getting involved if at all possible. This is valuable opportunity for your son or daughter to learn to deal with relational conflict.

Noise and/or Cleanliness
If there is a problem with noise, encourage your student to ask for what he or she needs from the person being loud. This is not limited to roommates, but also students on the floor or in the building. If these suggestions do not stop the problem, tell your student to explain his or her problem to their Student Don or if it is during quiet hours, to call the Student Don On Call Pager. He or she will help solve the problem for all parties involved. If the Student Don is unsuccessful he or she will seek assistance from another Student Don or the College Residence Life Coordinator. Remember, there is always someone who can help your student.

If there is a problem with cleanliness in your student's shared room, encourage your student to speak with his or her roommate in order to form a compromise that keeps the roommates happy and the living space clean. If there is a problem with the floor being unclean, tell your student to talk about the problem with his or her Student Don.

Alcohol and other drugs
If your child voices his or her concern about his or her roommate being involved with alcohol and other drugs in their shared room, then tell them to ask their roommate to stop. If this does not solve the problem, then encourage your student to contact his or her Student Don.

If the alcohol and/or other drugs are in a neighboring room or someplace on the floor, remind your student that they can contact the Student Don or call the Student Don On Call Pager. If your student is unsure about how to proceed, have them talk to their Student Don. If you as a parent would like to intervene, contact the College Residence Life Coordinator.

Sexual Relationships
The roommate of a person who is pursuing a sexual relationship in their shared room is uniquely impacted. They may be the only person aware of the problem they are experiencing. Your student has a right for this behaviour not to go on while in the room. As a parent, encourage your student to ask the roommate to stop the behaviour. If this does not work, encourage your student to talk with the Student Don or College Residence Life Coordinator.

Mental Health
Some students come to university with a pre-existing diagnosis of a mental health concern such as depression, anxiety, etc. Your student may visit Health Services, the Counselling Center, or the Disability Services Office to ensure that their needs are met.