Harriet Brock Pengelley

 

On September 16, 1834, at the age of 22, Harriet married Robert Lamport Pengelley, a retired Royal Navy officer, and on that day, filled with happiness and gratitude, Harriet wrote the following passage in her diary: "it was a lovely day, and a happy day! All went so well and I am so happy. Thus do I end my journal, with gratitude to God for all his goodness and blessings to me" (TUA 70-001/1/1, diary entry September 16, 1834).

 

Less than a year later, Harriet and her husband, Robert, emigrated to Upper Canada, leaving their homeland on April 6, 1835. Harriet’s happiness was soon to change to abject loneliness and despair. The sea voyage was the beginning of what was to become an existence of utter unhappiness. She writes of one of the nights at sea as being a "very bad night, blowing a gale of wind, was up all night, could not sleep with fear" (TUA 70-001/1/4, diary entry dated April 18,1835). As the two began life in the wilderness, eventually settling in Bailieboro, north of Rice , Northumberland County, Harriet repeatedly writes of illness, insomnia, unhappiness, fear, and loneliness. Occasional moments of happiness hinged on the receipt of letters from loved ones, as is evident in the following example: "Received a letter from Sophy and Agnetta. Wept over it like a child, tears of heartfelt joy – my heart thanked Heaven for the happiness it gave me" (TUA 70-001/1/4, diary entry November 4, 1835). The majority of diary entries express desperate longing for those left behind in Guernsey. An example of that longing is evident in the following entry: "is it indeed true am I here? divided by the Atlantic from a mother so justly adored – a father so truly beloved – my parents – Oh! let me still think I am dreaming - that I have not left you – bid you such a long, such a sad adieu" (TUA 70-001/1/3, diary entry November 29, 1835).

Framed photograph of Harriet
with lock of hair (70-001/1/6 #4)

Both Harriet and Robert, in their respective diaries, repeatedly mention feeling ill and depressed. The two adversely affected each other’s sense of well-being, as is evident in the following passages from Harriet’s diary: "I dare not look sad on my husband’s account it makes him so unhappy" (TUA 70-001/1/4, diary entry dated April 20, 1835), and "Roby in low spirits – made me so! – it is indeed a dull monotonous life for him, and for me" (TUA 70-001/1/4, diary entry dated February 7, 1836). Harriet eventually felt the necessity to help Nancy, their maid with the housework. She complained of having to do the washing and how miserable it was to work with dirty water (See entry May 27th, 1835). Problems with Nancy eventually led to her dismissal; Harriet writes that they asked Nancy to leave at least twice. Harriet's relationship with Nancy betrays a distrust of people and a source of stress for the Pengelley household. She even refuses to accept new maids after the experience and prefers to do the housework herself. Their acquaintances in Guernsey were disturbed with the accounts they received from Harriet and Robert of their new country, as Harriet laments in the following passage: "Received two letters from Sophy half of one from Rosa – some parts truly kind, but it seems they all blame us for not liking this country – if they could only try it for one month!!!" (TUA 70-001/1/4, diary entry October 3, 1835). The entries in their diaries repeatedly mention that the weather is hot, cold, rainy, or stormy. Seldom is it mentioned that the weather is favorable. Even when it was nice outside Harriet found reason to dislike the country. Several diary entries allude to the fact that their families back in England did not agree with their decision to emigrate to Canada. In fact, Harriet resents the fact that her family blames the couple for not liking the country (see entry Oct. 3rd, 1835).

 

The diaries reveal that Harriet was relatively well-educated and wrote in French as well as English.

 

Harriet died on June 6,1836 at the age of 24. Although the circumstances of her death are unknown, Harriet repeatedly referred in her diaries to being unwell. The symptoms included pains in her chest and stomach, headaches, weakness, "my legs bad", chilblains, and depression. Perhaps these symptoms were indicative of a disease that caused her death. Of interest, loosely inserted inside Harriet’s sketchbook, is a tiny folded paper packet with dried plant fragments enclosed. The inscription "Violets June 3rd 1836" is on the packet, and appears to be in Harriet’s hand, dated three days before her death (TUA 70-001/1). Her final diary entry is on April 11th, with blank pages following, suggesting, perhaps, that she may have been too ill to write in the final two months of her life. Following her death, Robert writes: "regret more and more, every hour having brought my poor dear departed wife to this Country" (TUA 70-001/1/2, diary entry dated August 11, 1836), and "the thoughts that my bringing her to this country hastened her death make me wretched" (TUA 70-001/1/7, diary entry dated September 8, 1837). Harriet is buried in St. Peter’s Cemetery, Cobourg, Ontario. She and Robert had no children.

 

One quote from her diary that resonates greatly is from the April 5th, 1836 entry in which she writes: "This day last year we sailed from England – fatal day!"